Never Let Your Guard Down
by Simple Plan Rulz
Summary: It's a Rabby story, and its all about Ray's past. Ray discovers he likes Abby, but Abby and Ray are enimies, so Ray tries to get closer to her, and in doing so, reveals his haunting past!
1. Where it all began

**Title: Never let your guard down**

**Author: Simple Plan Rulz**

**Rating: T, I'm not sure, I'm not very good with the whole ratings thing.**

**Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own ER or any of its characters.**

**Author's notes on the story: This story is a Rabby story as I am a huge rabby fan! It is got a lot about Ray's history as they haven't revealed that on the show. When this story actually goes up I have already written up to chapter 15, (only in handwritten in a notebook) but if you have any ideas please suggest them! I apologize in advance that Ray and Abby don't actually get together until chapter 7!**

**Author's notes on the chapter: I wrote this chapter during season 11 so Abby and Jake are together. I don't like Jake so he's comes across kind of evil in this story! This chapter is actually incorrectly named 'Where it all began' as its actually not where it all began, but that might come in a prequel.**

Chapter 1- Where it all began

Ray leaned back in his favourite chair and watched Abby. She looked so cute in her white lab coat. Ray shook his head, why did he keep thinking these things! For the past couple of weeks Ray got this strange feeling whenever he looked at Abby he started thinking random thought like that she was pretty or he would wonder what it would be like to be her boyfriend and stupid stuff like that, like he fancied her or something. She was Abby Lockhart, they where enemies, why the hell would fall for her.

Yet, looking at her, Ray began to think about it. What if he did like her, would that be so bad? She was quite pretty and, when she wasn't pissed at him, she was nice and kind. All her patients seem to like her. Yer, she was kinda old, but did age really matter? Maybe he did like her, maybe.

He looked back at her wondering if she like him, she was busy talking to, to what's his face, well err thingy, her boyfriend. Ray was never very good with guys' names. Girls' names he was better with, until the morning after! This, as you can imagine, did not go down so well! Ray laughed to himself, thinking back on all the mornings when he had forgotten the girl's names. Good times, good times, Ray thought to himself. He leaned back in his chair taking one last look at Abby before closing his eyes.

"Ray," Abby was walking towards him and whispering seductively, "Ray." She was looking so hot on her tight, skimpy and revealing nurse's uniform. She moved closer and closer until she was standing right in front of him. Then, out of nowhere, she slapped him, hard. "Ray, wake up!"

Slowly Ray was brought back to reality, his face was stinging. Abby was standing in front of him in her jeans and lab coat. "Ray, Susan's gonna kill you if she finds you sleeping!" Ray nodded, he was still half asleep so words where difficult. He sat up more and realised Jake was in the room, he had a horribly fake grin spread right across his face, as if he enjoyed watching Ray get slapped.

"Hey baby, my shifts over now," Jake kissed her on the cheek "I'll see you later." They kissed for, in Ray's opinion, far too long and far too intimately considering he was also present in the room. Jake flashed Ray another evil grin and left.

Abby turn back to Ray, who raised his eyebrow at her. "What?" she asked.

"Don't you think Jake's a little young for you?"

"No,"

He scoffed.

"What?"

"Nothing," he replied innocently "It's just I never saw you as a cradle snatcher!" He gave her one of his cheeky smiles.

"Whatever Ray," she sighed and walked off. Ray laughed to himself, he loved it when he got to her, she was just so easy to get to and she always got all worked up about it. She just had so much going against her, and she practically backed herself straight into that one, how could he not say anything? She re-appeared at the door. "Ray, work?" she asked "You planning on doing any?" He picked up a chart, raised his eyebrow at her, and walked off.

**That's the end of the first chapter! Not much happens but its the opening chapter so you wouldn't expect much. It's so short but some chapters are very long so it allevens out.I will update soon but I make no promises!**


	2. Perfect Remedy

**Title: Never let your guard down**

**Author: Simple Plan Rulz**

**Rating: T, I'm not sure, I'm not very good with the whole ratings thing.**

**Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own ER or any of its characters.**

**Authors Notes: Thanks for the reviews, 'Over the moon 13' I also was not a huge Rabby fan at first but now I realize it is soo good! 'Guesswhat' I hope I can convince you to like Rabby!**

Chapter 2: Perfect Remedy

"So just keep taking these pills for the next couple of days" Ray instructed the old women.

"And that it? I'll be fine just like that?" the old women seemed suspicious.

"Yep, that's all, and I recommend a weeks rest and relaxation,"

"Ahh," the old women sighed "If you ask me rest and relaxation is the perfect remedy for anything." Ray smiled and walked off. He walked quickly to the exit and out into the cold Chicago air, his shift was over, he was free at last! He watched the snow fall for a bit before realising Abby was sitting on a bench, just next to him, smoking a cigarette. He plonked himself down next to her "Can I have one?"

She passed him a cigarette and a lighter. "I didn't know you smoked?"

He lit his cigarette and handed her back his lighter. "Not really, nicotine's for wimps, everyone knows hardcore smokers smoke dope," he said giving her another cheeky smile.

"Whatever Ray," she didn't seem particularly amused.

"You know, you always say that whenever you can think of a comeback,"

"I'm just really not in the mood to take the piss out of you right now Ray,"

"Wow you must be depressed," he sat back. The he did something very strange he looked at her, but not like he usually does, he looked truly concerned, "What's up?"

"It's Jake, today," she gritted her teeth andsighed"he told me he loves me, in a store cupboard,"

Ray laughed "Classy"

"It just its all so soon and I don't really know if I'm ready for it, you know? I mean I haven't been in love since…" she trailed off but Ray nodded, he knew who she meant. She looked at him "I just dunno what to do."

Ray began to realise she was asking him for his advice, and by the looks of things she seemed like she actually valued his opinion. That's when it struck him, you see,over the past week Ray had slowly began to like Abby more and more, to the point where he was totally infatuated with her, and now she was within reach, Ray could convince her to ditch Jake and then she was his for the taking!

But, he couldn't do it. No matter how much he liked Abby, convincing her not to date Jake and then steal her for himself, it just seemed so low, and it was obvious Abby was happy with Jake, he couldn't take that away from her. Also, his plan was a bit far fetched.

"Well do you love him back?"

She nodded.

"Do you still have feelings for Carter?"

She shook her head.

"Well then, you gotta put your past behind you, and go have fun with Jake," he smiled a very, sweet, genuine smile that Abby had never seen, she preferred it when he smiled like that.

"Yer, I spose…"

"So go," he pushed her, "go and get your man,"

She smiled and was about to run off when she stopped and turned back, "Thanks Ray,"

She took his hands "I mean it, you could have made loads of sarcastic comments or jokes or whatever, but you didn't, and, well, I appreciate that you where so sensitive," she laughed "I know it's hard for you!"

Then out of nowhere she leaned in and hugged him, before running off.

Ray sat there, all alone in the County General ambulance bay, on a freezing, snowy Chicago night. He sat and watched the snow fall, wondering if Abby would care if he just disappeared, he doubted it, she'd probably be happy if she never had to see him again. But, she was nice to him just then, he smiled, maybe there was hope, not much, but enough. Ray began to sing to himself "Nobody cares cause I'm alone and the world is having more fun than me tonight." He laughed to himself at the aptness of the simple plan lyrics. Then it hit him, Ray knew what he could do, Brett was having a party tonight, he wasn't going to go, but he decided that a bit of alcohol, a chat with his mates and he would forget all about Abby.

When Ray woke up, his head was throbbing. He looked at the girl lying beside him, she was pretty and, just like expected, she had completely taken his mind off Abby. She was his perfect remedy for loneliness.

Ray strolled into the kitchen, he searched through a few of the cupboards before finding some paracetamol, the perfect remedy for a hangover. He heard some clanging behind him and he presumed the girl had woken up. He walked into the bedroom and gathered his clothes. "Listen…" dammit, he had forgotten the girl's name.

This must have showed as she replied "Elle,"

"Yer Elle, listen last night was fun, but…"

"Yer, yer," she looked tired and pissed off "I get it, you guys are all the same."

Ray was about to apologise, although it was a bit weird, apologising on behalf on all men, when she interrupted him. "Don't worry, its cool, now go on," she smiled and motioned towards the door "get outta here"

Ra strolled out of her apartment and back to the hospital, with a slight spring in his step.

**That's the end of chapter 2! Nothing much happen's in this chapter either but I'm trying to build a friendship from nothing. In the next chapter they become a lot more friendly and the next chapter is well long. **


	3. In Sickness and in Health

**Title: Never let your guard down**

**Author: Simple Plan Rulz**

**Rating: T, I'm not sure, I'm not very good with the whole ratings thing.**

**Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own ER or any of its characters.**

**Author's notes: this is chapter 3! in this Ray finally starts to reveal his past, although it seems like its all of it, its not, he has more secrets! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I hope you like chapter 3!**

Chapter 3: In Sickness and in Health

"So guess what," Neela said as she handed Abby a tissue, "Ray's late and springing about like a rabbit on speed, we all know what that means,"

"I wonder who it is?"

"Probably some skank of the streets," Neela was not particularly impressed at the way Raywas always sleeping around.

"Hey, so Ray's a bit of a man-whore, he's still a nice guy."

"God, who's been brainwashing you?"

"No one, he was actually very nice to me yesterday,"

"Whatever you say, hey when did Jake leave this morning?"

"Really early, like 2am, god I miss him already!"

Abby laughed "I thought you where all worried yesterday about things going to fast,"

"Yer, but then Ray convinced me it was nothing, and what's weird is he was right!"

"Ray is giving out good advice, I gotta see this!"

Abby was about to laugh but it came out as more of a choke and then she threw up again.

"Seriously Abby, if your gunna spend the rest of today throwing up in the toilet I really think you should go home,"

Abby pulled her head out of the toilet, "I'm fine really, it's just a little virus,"

"When did you start throwing up?"

"This morning, I woke up at like 5 and I was all hot and I felt like I had a bad fever, and then I went to go puke up,"

"Sound's like you've got that 24 hour bug thing that's going round,"

"No, I'm fine honestly I'm feeling much better now"

"Abby," Neela gave her a stern look.

"Fine, fine, I go home,"

"Good, you need the rest, I'll come visit you when my shifts up, I promise,"

"Okay," was all Abby managed to say before throwing up, again.

"Hey Neela," Ray spun her around "Where's Lockhart?"

"She's gone home, she's sick, why do you care Barnett?"

"I was just concerned that's all," Ray suddenly saw the opportunity to spend more time with Abby, "Hey are you gunna visit her, now our shift's up?"

"My shift may be up Ray, but unlike you, when my shift ends my work doesn't. Hey, could you go see her and tell her that I'm sorry I couldn't go see her, but I'm swamped.

"Will do," Ray gave Neela a wink and disappeared.

Ten minutes and a train journey later

"Housekeeping," called Ray in a high pitched voice as he knocked on the door.

"What? Neela is that you? The door's open." Abby called in a snotty, clogged up voice.

"Nah just me," Ray strolled into her apartment, "Neela's swamped down at the hospital, she asked me to apologize for her." Ray looked around her apartment "Hey, where's what's his face?"

Abby rolled her eyes "Jake's at his mom's"

"So you're all alone?"

"Yep, looks like it"

"Well that just won't do," Ray moved towards her bed, "come on, scoot up," Ray jumped onto the bed next to her, "I'm here now"

"No Ray, I couldn't ask you to stay, you've got another shift in 12 hours!"

"Don't worry, I've learned to go without sleep," he winked at her "if you know what I mean."

"Ray you're so typical, is that all you think about?"

Ray pretended to think for a couple of seconds before replying "Yep, pretty much"

Abby shook her head "Why is it, sometimes you seem like your actually an alright, nice guy, than you go an prove that your actually the person everyone thinks you are, an arrogant, sex obsessed, kid?"

Ray didn't say anything he just looked down, should he tell her, tell her why he's like that, he didn't have to tell her all of it and she might understand, from what Neela had told him about her past, about her mum, she would totally understand, but it would be so weird, talking about it, he had never told anyone before.

Abby looked at him, "What no comments, jokes, comebacks?"

Ray shook his head, he looked depressed and deep in thought. Abby looked in the same way as he had looked at her the night before and repeated what he said "What's up?"

"Well it's just…" he trailed off "you'll probably think this is weird but…"

"But what?"

"Look I've never told anyone this before,"

Abby nodded.

"You see, when I was a kid, my dad, he wanted me and my mum to be, well, to be perfect, you know, he was that kind of guy who hated weakness in people, and, well, he was always telling me that I must never let my guard down, that I was only as weak as my weakest link." Ray looked at Abby to see if she was following.

"So, my dad, he tried to 'eliminate' our weak links," Ray looked down, it was so weird having to admit this, he couldn't look straight at Abby.

"Ray, did your dad hit you?"

Ray nodded "It was just my mum at first, but he would get really angry anytime I did anything wrong and he would just, you know, lash out."

Abby couldn't believe what she was hearing, that Ray's arrogant persona was just a façade, a little boy frightened to death, hiding behind a mask. "So that's why you never, like, normally sensitive, you know, like you never show emotions,"

Ray nodded "my dad said showing emotions was weak."

"So what did you do? Did your mom leave him?"

"No, she was too frightened, so I just took it, until I was 16, then I left to go live with my mom's sister. When I was 18 my mum died in a car crash, I haven't spoken to my dad since her funeral." Ray sighed, a deep, depressing sigh, "You know its kinda ironic, my mum had had enough of my dad, thats why she was driving, she was gunna come stay with my aunt and me, she was finally escaping, and then she died."

They both sat in silence. Abby was shocked, she couldn't believe how Ray had just opened up like that, and she would have never expected this to be the reason for why Ray was the way he was.

"You know you're the first person I've ever sat down and told this to."

"Why me?" Abby looked concerned.

"I've kept it bottled up for too long, and besides you asked me."

"Oh yer,"

"And, I thought it would take your mind off your illness," he smiled that same sensitive, sweet smile that she had only seen a few times before. Abby leaned back, she was totally wrong about Ray, he was a nice guy.

So nice, he spent the rest of day with her, laughing, joking and holding back her hair for her when she was sick, so she didn't get any in her hair, andafterwards he walked back of to the hospital, a slight spring in his step.

**Thats the end. I thought it was going to be a lot longer than that, I did cut this big bit out where Ray talks about why he decided to become a doctor, because I thought that fits in better later on, but still, I thought it would be soooo much longer! **


	4. The Apple and the Tree

**Title: Never let your guard down**

**Author: Simple Plan Rulz**

**Rating: T, I'm not sure, I'm not very good with the whole ratings thing.**

**Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own ER or any of its characters.**

**Author's notes: I don't like this chapter, or the next, don't ask why, but I can't take them out because their important to the story, I think I don't like them because the writing in them sucks, but I don't know! Thanks for the reviews, sorry it took a while to update!**

Chapter 4: The Apple and the Tree

A few days had passed, Abby was back to herself, feeling much better, Jake had returned from his mom's but they where now working different shifts. Abby and Ray where, still good friends, they had become almost inseparable always talking and joking with each other, although Jake hated the friendship between them he never said anything to Abby. So, in a nutshell everything was going smoothly, too smoothly.

"Hey Ray, you wanna grab something to eat with me after our shift?"

Sure, it's a date," he flashed her one of his familiar cheeky smiles.

Since his return Abby and Jake had to work separate shifts, which made Abby feel quite lonely. So Ray came to the rescue and would spend a lot of time with her instead. He spent so much time with her he practically lived in the apartment with them, which oddly, never bothered Jake.

"So, do you like the food?"

"I love it," Abby scoffed her mouth full of spaghetti. "How come you know this place?"

Ray shrugged "I just know places,"

"Its weird how you know all these small, quaint little restaurants that are soooo good."

"Well, there my secret place,"

Abby looked confused "Secret place?"

"Yer like you know, where a guy takes a girl when he, you know, wants to get with her," Abby's face dropped a bit and Ray quickly covered up what he said, "Not that I want to get with you, just that you know, I thought you'd like the restaurants."

"Whew," he thought, "that was close,"

"Yes Ray," Abby chuckled at the number of times he had said 'you know' in that sentence "I do know,"

"Whatever Abby," he said trying to copy her.

She flashed him back one of his cheeky signature smiles.

"So, what'll it be, shall I whip you at scrabble again?"

After the meal, it was traditional for them to go back to Abby place and play board games. Abby refused to play monopoly, as apparently, Ray cheats, really she just hated that he always won but cheating seemed a better excuse. Usually they ended up playing scrabble.

"I would have won if you'd let me play orgasm!"

"Yes, but the game is aged at people from 12 up, and you don't want to be teaching any twelve years olds that word."

"But we where the only people playing and I let you have boobies,"

"Boobies, is not a rude word, you get four years olds saying that,"

"But it was so perfect, I had the O and the R 'n' G 'n' S 'n' M. That kind of thing only happens once in a scrabble lifetime."

"Scrabble lifetime?"

"Yes," said Ray trying to appear wise "It is a lifetime, of scrabble,"

"Mmm, yer, I bet it is,"

"What it worked at school,"

"How?"

"For example, what is an eco system?" Ray smiled "You just flip it round, and put a system that is eco,"

"That wouldn't work!"

"No, but my geography teacher found it amusing," Ray sighed "Miss McKenzie, she was what I went to school for, I'm still surprised no one ever found out, she would have gotten so fired!"

Abby shook her head "I don't wanna know!"

Ray grinned, Abby went of to go get scrabble and returned with a little box and the board game.

"Look at what Jake got me," she opened the box to reveal a pair of beautiful earrings, "There so gorgeous, isn't he the sweetest,"

"And he just gave it to you, out of nowhere?"

"Yer, ain't that so cute?"

Ray shook his head, "You're reading it all wrong, that, is what we guys like to call a guilt present,"

Abby looked confused.

"When you buy something for your girl cause you feel guilty bout something,"

"That's not what it is, Jake's not like guys like you,"

"Face it Abby when it comes down to it, all guys are assholes,"

"Well not Jake,"

"You just don't want to admit he's cheating on you,"

"You're only saying that because you jealous!"

"I am not jealous!" Okay he was just a little, but the way she said it, it made him feel so, weak.

She began to chant,

"Ray is jealous, Ray is jealous, Ray is…"

_Shut up, _he thought, _shut up, I'm not jealous!_

"Ray is jealous, Ray is jealous, Ray is…"

_Shut up! Shut up!_

"Ray is jealous, Ray is jealous, Ray is…"

"SHUT UP!" Ray screamed. He shoved Abby straight into the sofa.

"_Dad, please Dad don't be angry,"_

"_Don't be angry!" the man screamed "look at this, look!" he grabbed the boys neck and shoved it into the paper._

"_Dad," the boy choked "Dad you're strangling me,"_

"_Good," the man tightened his grip, "Maybe it will knock some sense into you,"_

"_Dad," the boy choked desperately._

_The man released his grip "What did I tell you?"_

"_You've got to get good grades, that's the only way you'll do well in life, the only way you'll succeed, you got to get good grades," the boy repeated what he'd been told like a robot. He massaged his neck, it would certainly hurt the next day, he would have to wear a polo neck to cover the bruises._

"_You've disappointed me again," the man stared straight into the boy's eyes, rage pumping through the veins. "You know I hate being disappointed."_

_The boy nodded._

"_So what do you have to say for yourself?"_

_Normally the boy would have gone into the whole 'I'm so sorry,' routine but he couldn't be bothered, his dad made him so angry he just wanted to scream, scream, scream!_

"_You know why I get bad grades, because you're the worst father ever!"_

_The two looked each other, both surprised by the outburst._

"_You're… the…worst…most…terrible…and…meanest…dad…ever!" It was the boys turn to seethe with rage._

"_SHUT UP!" The man screamed and threw the boy onto the sofa "Don't you dare speak to me like that," he shook the boy vigorously, so vigorously, he felt like he would be sick. "Dad," the boy screamed._

_The man grabbed his boy by the head "Don't you ever speak to me like the again," he spat "understand?"_

_The boy wiped the spit off his face and nodded, "yes dad,"_

_The women wiped her sons face, gently with a warm, wet cloth, he would flinch every now and again in pain, but the cloth was helping. "There we go, my poor baby, is that better?"_

_He nodded._

"_You're dad may be a terrible man, but he means well, he just wants you to succeed."_

"_I hate him," the boy said with simple, childish, honesty._

"_I know, I know baby," she soothed him, "shhh, hey baby will promise me something?"_

"_Anything,"_

"_Promise me, no matter what, you won't be like him,"_

"_Of course I won't be like him," the boy scoffed with youthful innocence._

"_Well you know what they say; the apple never falls far from the tree,"_

"_Don't worry mum," he hugged her and pulled her close to him "I promise,"_

_It was the best day of his life; he was finally leaving the monster that was his dad. But he felt bad about leaving his mum; she should have to put up with him either. She hugged him tight, "Don't forgot you're promise,"_

"_Never," he smiled, waving good bye._

He watched Abby on the sofa, writhing in pain, and he knew what he'd done, he broken his promise. The one promise he thought he would never, ever break. He took one last look at her and ran all the way home, never looking back.

**Did you like the busted refrence? I don't like busted except for that song!**


	5. Glad Your Here

**Title: Never let your guard down**

**Author: Simple Plan Rulz**

**Rating: T, I'm not sure, I'm not very good with the whole ratings thing.**

**Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own ER or any of its characters. I also do not own Simple Plan.**

**Author's Notes: I will be able to update quickly now because, I was recently in a car crash and I got whip lash (which is so crap) but, it means I get a few days of school! (Yay!) This chapter is quite sad, and it's another chapter I don't like (its weird seeing as how I wrote it) but it's necessary. Thanks for the reviews, and 'krazy pirate gurl" there will be a fight between Ray and Jake but it's not with fists! And 'Pslam57' I hear you sing? there is a song in this one just for you!**

Chapter 5: Glad You're Here

Ray slammed his apartment door. He still couldn't believe it, how could he do that, not just to Abby, but to his mum. The last thing she had said to him was "Don't forget your promise," and he had, hurting Abby, the only person he truly cares about, in the process. He walked over to the fridge and took out a large bottle of Vodka and downed half of it.

The apartment was spinning around him and all he could think about was breaking the chain. If he didn't change something, he would turn into a monster, like his Dad, and then his kid would do the same. He had to break it, but he didn't know how. He smacked his head against the wall, "I'm so stupid," he shouted.

He hit his head again.

"Stupid!"

_Smack!_

"Stupid!"

_Smack!_

"Stupid" he screamed at the top of his lungs smacking his head against the wall with all his force.

He felt his forehead, it was bleeding, that's when it came to him, it was drastic and desperate, but it would work and he would never hurt Abby or anyone again, and that was what was most important.

He moved towards his bedroom, he feel over a small table in the hallway. He picked himself back up again; he was determined to finish this. The more and more vodka he drank, the quicker he felt himself slipping into unconsciousness. He would stop drinking but the vodka numbed the pain in his head. He took the pen knife out of one of his draws and sat down. Hepushed all the buttons on theCD player and when he found the right song he went and sat on his bed.

_I open my eyes_

_I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light_

_I can't remember how_

_I can't remember why_

_I'm lying here tonight_

_And I can't stand the pain_

_And I can't make it go away_

_No I can't stand the pain_

He took off his sweat band and opened his knife, this was so stupid, he knew it and yet it was the only way. He took another swig of the vodka and took out his wrist, right first, he was left handed, so that would be his better cut, less painful, hopefully he would be drunker when it came to the right.

_How could this happen to me_

_I've made my mistake _

_Got no where to run_

_The night goes on_

_As I'm fading away_

_I'm sick of this life_

_I just wanna scream_

_How could this happen to me_

How could this happen to him? He wasn't really about to do this was he? Did he have to? Surely there was another option!

_Everybody's screaming_

_I try to make a sound but no one hears me_

No one ever listens to him. Why should they, all he does is babble on about crap and himself.

_I'm slipping off the edge_

_I'm hanging by a thread_

_I wanna start this over again_

To start it all over again! What he would give to start over!

Of course death would be a new start in some ways.

_So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered_

_And I can't explain what happened_

He could never explain, something inside him just took over. The evil inside him flowed through him and he hurt her. He had to kill himself to destroy the evil inside. That was why he had to do this, there was no other way.

_And I can't erase the things that I've done_

_No I can't_

He could never go back. He did what he did and now he has to pay.

_How could this happen to me_

_I've made my mistakes_

_Got no where to run_

_The night goes on_

_As I'm fading away_

_I'm sick of this life_

_I just wanna scream_

_How could this happen to me_

The chorus played again and again, his thoughts where everywhere, there where so many different voices.

"Should he do it?"

"Shouldn't he do it?"

"He had to do it,"

"There might be another way."

"Should he right a note?"

The song began to end and Ray had made up his mind. He was going to do it, it was the only way. He leaned down and pierced his skin, pain flowed through him, he took another swig, continued down, further down, then…

The phone rang.

He ignored it at first about to make his sideways cut when…

The answer phone came on "Hi Ray, its Abby," she was crying, what had he done?

"I know you're like angry or whatever, at me now but, I didn't know who else to call, its, its Jake…"

He forgot all about what he was doing, more thoughts popping to his head about what was wrong with Jake.

"He's cheating on me, he's been doing so since he came back form his mums, that's why he got a separate shift."

"The bastard" thought Ray "How dare he do that to Abby, and yet...he was throwing stones in glass houses,"

"I…I…," she stammered "I walked in on them just now, I went for a walk, after you, you know, for a couple of hours,"

A couple of hours, had it been that long?

"When I came back, he must have forgotten I have today off because, he was...he wasthere with…with…" She couldn't say it. "In my bed Ray, my bed!"

"I know," he said in thesweet, caring, way, he sometimes talked "its okay, so what did you do?"

"I screamed and told them to get out!"

"Good, hold on, I'm coming round,"

He bandaged up his wrist and put a sweat band over it before rushing off to Abby's.

When Ray arrived at Abby's apartment she was a wreck, tears streaming down her face, her eyes all puffed up.

"Abby," Ray hugged her tightly, "I'm so, so sorry about earlier,"

"Its okay, you where worked up and angry, you didn't mean it,"

"I never meant to hurt you,"

"Its okay, I know. And anyway it didn't hurt that much,"

He knew she was lying, he been there.

"Look," she said, wiping a tear from his eye "I've got you crying too now!"

Ray was surprised he didn't even realize he was crying, he hadn't cried in…in…in a long time.

"So we're good?" She asked him

"Better than ever,"

They spent the rest of the evening discussing how much they hated Jake and all sorts other topics.

He never told her about what he had done that evening; he always kept the scar hidden. One day, he would tell his gran-children about how he had been saved by a phone call, but they never believed him, they just thought he was old and senile.

"What you thinking bout?"

"Huh," Ray snapped back to reality.

Abby smiled and hugged Ray closer, "I'm glad you're here,"

He smiled back at her "I'm glad you're here too."

**That's it, it's actually quite long! The song in this in 'untitled' by Simple Plan. Its in their second album 'Still Not Getting Any' if your interested in buying it! I recommend it! In the next chapter, like before stated Ray and Jake end up in a fight/basketball match! like one tree hill! I don't know if I like the chapter and this chapter can be gotten rid of as its not important to the story, but its up to you! If you want that chapter, say so and I'll put it up! **


	6. One County General

**Title: Never let your guard down**

**Author: Simple Plan Rulz**

**Rating: T, I'm not sure, I'm not very good with the whole ratings thing.**

**Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own ER or any of its characters.**

**More notes on story: A review from 'krazypirategurl' reminded me that I actually thought up this story whilst listening to 'Perfect' by Simple Plan; it explains Ray's feelings for his Dad really well so I will defiantly use it at some point in my story. I think I use it in chapter 10 at the moment but it might pop up in some more chapters. I don't know how I could get 'Welcome to my life' in the story, but if you have any ideas please suggest them.**

**Notes on the Chapter: This chapter is called 'One County General' after One Tree Hill, which is because it's about basketball. If you've never seen One Tree Hill, watch it, if you can't be bothered, basically, it's about basketball and it has Chad Michael Murray in it, and that's all you really need to know to understand this chapter. This chapter starts with Ray and Abby looking back on this event, and this runs into the next chapter as they take place immediately after each other. I know I said I didn't like this chapter but I changed my mind, so I'm putting it up anyway! Like I said before I really don't like Jake so he comes off really evil and spiteful in this chapter! Thanks for the reviews, here's chapter 6!**

Chapter 6: One County General

It had been a long time since Abby had broken up with Jake andRay was now practically living in Abby's apartment, sleeping on the sofa.

"Gosh, that seem's like ages ago now, how long ago was it?" Abby laughed

"A couple of weeks now,I think" Ray was laughing too, "Do you remember when..."

"Oh yer," Abby laughed harder, "that was so funny!"

Once they had stopped laughing Abby turned to Ray "You know, youstill haven't told me what happened before I came along,"

"That's cause, like I keep saying, nothing much happened!"

"Yer sure, am I supposed to believe that?"

"Yes!" Ray leaned back on the sofa.

"I wash up, seeing as how you cooked,"

"Sounds good," Ray wasslowly drifting off.

He was having a pretty ruff day, so he strolled of to the county general basketball courts to shoot some hoops and chill. Of course when he got there, someone else was playing.

Jake.

"Ray," Jake spotted him.

"Jake," the hate in his tone was very apparent.

"You wanna play?" Jake held out the ball.

"What and act like nothing happened?"

"What happened?" Jake acted innocent.

"Quit fucking about, we all know what happened."

Jake laughed; Ray was such a hot head, "I don't"

Ray ingnored him insteadgrabbing the ball off Jake andwalkingover to the half way line, he lifted the ball up, like he was going to shoot.

"You'll never make it," Jake sneered.

"Ray shrugged "It's still worth a try!" he threw the ball, it bounced off the backboard. He shrugged again "Never mind,"

"Pass here," Jake took the ball and standing much further forward than Ray, took a shot. It went straight in the basket. "Swish, swish,"

"Yer, apart from you didn't take it from the halfway line,"

Jake shrugged "I still got it in,"

"I could get it in from there,"

"Go on then, prove it,"

Jake was standing with the ball, Ray tried to take it off him but Jake kept a hold of it. "You go to play me for it, first to 21?"

Ray was not in the mood to 'hang' with Jake but thrashing him 21-0 seemed quite fun and it would show Abby how much better than Jake he was, another one of those male competition things.

"Whatever," said Ray and the game began.

The boys where taking a break, it was 6-2 to Ray.

"So, are you and Abby, like, going out?"

"Why would that bother you? Cause I hear you've got someone else?"

Jake shrugged it off "Of course it wouldn't bother me, Elle is just the best,"

"Elle?" Ray was sure he's heard that name somewhere before.

"Yer, Elle Jacobs you might know her, she's in the music business."

Ray suddenly remembered where he knew her from, "Short, blonde hair, green eyes, very pretty?"

"Yer, that's her," said Jake looking proud that Ray thought she was pretty.

"What did she tell you she does?"

"She wasn't specific she just said she was in the music business," he was looking weary now.

Ray burst into fits of laughter.

"I don't know what so funny?"

"She's a groupie from my band,"

The look of horror on Jake's face was priceless.

"She never mentioned me to you?"

"No," Jake scowled

"I'm deeply offended, she doesn't remember our little rendezvous a couple of weeks ago?"

Jake's faced dropped to the floor, "You two..."

"Hooked up? Yer we did!" Ray was definatly enjoying this, Jake was going crazy!

Jake was angry now, he'd just totally made a fool of himself and he wasn't about to let Ray get the upper hand.

"No matter, so Elle and I didn't work out, I could just go back to Abby,"

Ray suddenly looked very angry, Jake smiled, he'd hit a nerve, "She never take you back," Ray knew it wasn't true, Abby was so vulnerable at the moment, she'd take him back in a flash.

"Come on, with both know she'd take me back,"

This made Ray really angry, he slammed Jake up against the wall, his fist pushing into his throat. "Leave Abby alone, she's mine," Ray screamed.

Jake smiled, Ray had reacted exactly how he hoped he would, "Calm down tough guy,"

Ray loosened his grip, slightly.

Jake, relieved he could now breathe properly, took a deep breath, "So you are going out with Abby then?"

Ray just looked straight at Jake, he wasn't about to admit that to him.

"Just as I thought, you like her but she likes me,"

Ray pressed harder pushing Jake throat up to the wall.

"Don't get mad, you know it true," said spitefully.

Yes, Ray knew it was true, but he wasn't about to give Jake the pleasure of knowing that.

"You want Abby?" Jake asked"Play me for her; if you win I'll back off!"

It was an offer Ray couldn't refuse; he tossed Jake aside "Let's get this over with."

Abby and Neela walked out onto the basketball court, where Jake and Ray where playing.

"What's the score?" Neela asked

"17-15 to me," Ray grinned.

"God, it's like One Tree Hill out here," Neela told Abby.

Abby laughed "Yer, One County General!"

_Clunk_

Abby and Neela's attention was brought back to the game as Jake scored a crucial basket.

It was Ray turn with the ball, "Go Ray!" Abby called.

Ray smiled at Jake, Abby preferred him!

Jake mumbled something under his breath that sounded a lot like "go to hell"

The two guys struggled with the ball for a bit, until Jake won possession, he reached up to shot, and through the ball, smacking Ray in the nose with his elbow.

"Bitch!" Ray cried, blood began to drip from his nose. The ball missed the basket.

"Foul play," Neela ruled.

"Nah," Ray wiped his nose, "it was an accident"

Jake sniggered, he knew what Ray was doing, trying to seem all gentlemanly in front of Abby, two could play at that game.

"It's okay, Ray, you take it,"

Ray glared at Jake, before taking the ball.

"20-20" Ray called as he scored another basket, Jake took the ball.

"Come on man, you might as well give up, I've won!"

"I wouldn't be so sure of yourself Ray,"

There was more struggling, Abby noted that Ray was a good defender; Jake couldn't get near the basket.

Jake was losing and any moment now Ray was going to take the ball off him, he couldn't let that happen, he elbowed Ray in the stomach, winding him, he rushed round to take a lay-up. "20-20, what was that about quitting Ray?"

"No fair," Ray was clutching his stomach "You winded me,"

The girls looked shocked that Jake would cheat.

"He's lying" Jake informed them, he turned and spat on the floor next to Ray"you just can't accept that you're losing,"

"We're drawing," Ray corrected him "now lets finish this,"

Ray took the ball and was about to start when Jake spoke, in a whisper so the girls wouldn't hear,"You just can't accept it? Can you? No matter what your gunna lose, and, even if by some freak chance you do win, you still won't get Abby, because you and I both know she's way out of your league!You're arrogant, self obsessed and you spend you're timing hooking up with skanks!" he stopped to think and then smiled a cold, vengeful smile, "I'm sure your dad would be proud,"

Ray went red with rage.

"That's right; Abby told me back when we were going out. Face it Ray a guy like you and a girl like her, it wasn't meant to be."

"Even so," Ray shrugged "it's still worth a try!"

Jake prepared to defend, when he realized Ray was trying to shoot!

"You'll never make it," Jake laughed.

Ray reached up and took his shot. It landed in the basket without even touching the backboard. "Swish, swish," Ray laughed. The girls clapped and cheered.

"Whatever," Jake was about to storm off.

"Hey," Ray called after him, Jake spun round"Calm down tough guy!"

"Ha-ha, very funny Ray," He slammed the hospital doors.

"What's got him so work up?" Neela asked.

"Dunno," Ray turned to Abby "One County General, I like it,"

The girls laughed, "It's got a ring to it," Neela joked.

"Yer, but on one condition," Ray insisted "I get to be Chad Michael Murray!"

"Sure," Abby laughed, "He's the hot one right?"

**That's the end! That's Jake's last appearence in my story, I think, but you never know, he might randomly turn up again. (although I hope not.) The next chapter after this is coming soon as it runs directly after this one, remember at the begining when they're talking about the game and then Ray falls asleep? Well the next chapter takes place later in the afternoon when Abby wakes him up! Abby and Ray finally get together! (sort of)!**


	7. Boxers, Beers and Bras

**Title: Never let your guard down**

**Author: Simple Plan Rulz**

**Rating: T, I'm not sure, I'm not very good with the whole ratings thing.**

**Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own ER or any of its characters.**

**Thanks for the reviews, sorry the update took so long. Here's chapter 7!**

Chapter 7: Beers, Boxers and Bras

"Ray, Ray," she shook him some more, "Ray, come on!"

Slowly Ray's eyes began to open, "whhart?"

"Come on sleepy head," she smiled.

"Did I fall asleep?"

She laughed and nodded. He looked at the time, "why didn't you wake me up sooner?"

"You look to cute sleeping there, so peaceful,"

He rolled his eyes, "whatever, what you been doing while I was sleeping?"

"The dishes, I got Neela to bring some of your stuff over and I put it all in those drawers."

"You organised my stuff?" Ray thought again "You touched my stuff?"

"Yer, why are you worried I'd find something I shouldn't?"

"No," Ray replied quickly, "Did you?"

"No, although Neela told me to ask you about a box labelled Hawaii vacation?"

Ray laughed and his face turned slightly pinkish, "She might not wanna open that,"

Abby smiled and Ray went over to the fridge and took out a beer, he was about to go back to his seat when Abby stopped him, "Could you get me one?"

He stopped motionless, not only did he not expect Abby to like beer, but he was sure Carter had told him something about her being an alcoholic once, or was he talking about someone else?

Ray shrugged, it didn't really matter.

He sat down next to Abby and gave her the beer, "I didn't know you drank beer?"

She smiled playfully, "There are a lot of things about me you don't know,"

"So tell me some,"

"You tell me some, there's a lot of stuff I don't know about you!"

"So we take it in turns, you ask a question, I ask a question, tit for tat,"

She laughed "I'll go first," She seemed to consider what she was going to ask him, she didn't want to start with a really deep question, just something light, but useful.

"Have you ever taken drugs?"

He laughed "I knew you was going to ask me that at some point," He nodded, "At first, it was just the weed, but then I became bit of a coke whore too,"

"So what happened?"

"It got boring, a bunch of my friends got arrested or landed in rehab, so I thought sod it, and besides, I was becoming a doctor, I was learning about all the shit that stuff does to you!"

She nodded as if accepting his answer.

He pondered for a bit before asking her, "Did you ever do drugs?"

"You can't ask my question!"

He shook his head "Yer I can!"

"Fine," she looked a little angry that he couldn't come up with something more inventive "nope."

He shrugged "Your turn,"

"What was your mum's name?"

He looked shocked, "I never told you?"

She shook her head "I've kind of been kept in the dark about that one,"

He sighed, "Jane and her maiden name was Layette, so she was Jane Elizabeth Layette,"

She nodded, "You told new girl that didn't you? That she had the same name as your mum!"

"Yer, and I said it was a pretty name, why?"

"Oh I was kind of eavesdropping on your conversation," Abby said quickly and plainly to try and cover up the fact she was eavesdropping, "she was so proud of herself after that; I think she has a crush on you!"

"What Jane? As in the med student, I thought she hated me, like proper hated me, she always seems so angry at me,"

Abby laughed, "She's angry at everyone,"

Ray laughed, "She doesn't say much,"

Abby shook her head, "Your turn,"

Ray leaned back, now what to ask, there was so much and yet, what to ask, he didn't want to offend her, so he thought he'd ask a funny question, "Have you ever put a bin on your head?"

Abby burst out laughing, beer spraying everywhere, "What?"

"I dunno, it just came to me, I then I just had to know,"

"No, have you?"

He looked away, "maybe,"

"When, like when you were little?"

"No actually, just yesterday! It was raining and I didn't want to get my hair wet so I brought one of those little bins from the store…"

Abby laughed so hard she almost choked, "You didn't want to get your hair wet! You're such a sissy!"

Ray went bright red, he quickly changed the subject, "Hey, you want another beer?"

She nodded, still laughing.

"Well then when you get your, could you get me one too?"

"Get your own! And while your there, could you get mine?"

"I got them last time!"

"So! Let's flip a coin?"

"Fine," Said Ray and he got out a coin, "Call it in the air,"

"Tails,"

The coin landed and rolled under the sofa. Ray picked it out, "hah heads!"

"Damn," Abby went off to get the beers, when she came back Ray still had his head under the sofa, "Ray, what are you doing?"

"You have the coolest collection of junk under here!"

He pulled something out from underneath "Yum, mouldy cookie!"

"Ray that's disgusting, throw it away!"

He threw it back under the sofa, "check this out," he pulled out a pack of cards.

"You know what we should do?" Abby took the cards off Ray.

"Play strip poker?" Ray asked hopefully.

"No," Abby glared at him, but Ray flashed his puppy dog eyes, "Fine whatever," she gave in,"we'll play your stupid game."

"Yay!" Ray jumped up looking excited.

2 hours and many, many, many beers later

"Your bra looks pretty," Ray slurred.

"You like it?" Abby looked surprised, "Its from Wal-Mart!"

Ray laughed, "It a bra, it doesn't matter where its from, all bras are pretty!"

Abby shook her head, "You're so drunk you know that!"

Ray shook his head, "You're worse!"

"Nuh-uh"

"Yah-huh"

"Nun-uh"

"Yah-uh"

"Nuh-uh infinity!"

"Yay-hah infinity and one,"

She hit his arm "You can't get that!"

"Says who?"

"Clever people!"

"Well there stupid," said Ray

Abby laughed "Don't be silly!"

Ray shock from side to side, like he was about to fall off his chair any moment now, Abby had given up and was already on the floor.

"Come on," Ray urged "We gotta play this last round, see who has to strip!"

Abby smiled, Ray naked, that was something se wouldn't mind seeing.

"I forgot how to play!" she pretentded.

"So, we're still playing,"

So they played the last round, Abby put her cards down, "Royal flush!"

Ray looked shocked, "I thought you couldn't play?"

"Yer well, I lied, come on," she moved towards him and started to take off his boxers, "Say goodbye to Mr Calvin Klien,"

"Wait,"

She stopped, "You know I like black boxers, they look good on you,"

Good was an understatement, Ray was looking really, really hot.

"Wait, look at my cards!"

"What, Full house! You cheated!"

"Nope, come on, lets get this bra off!"

"No," Abby screamed and ran off.

"Your such a hyp…hypo…hyp…" Ray stumbled to get the word out as he chased Abby round the room.

Eventually they landed on top of each other, on the sofa.

Abby gave up and leaned towards Ray and kissed him, first lightly, but soon they where kissing passionately.

Ray ran his fingers down her back, slowly, and then she sat up. "Hey," She grabbed her back.

"What?"

"Did you just undo my bra?"

Ray shrugged tilting his head to the side, "maybe."

She smiled "Nice work!"

He laughed and then went back to kissing her.

They stayed this way for some while until they went off to the bedroom to finish their 'game' off.

**Thats the end of chapter 7, and then chapter 8 is all about the 'morning after'!**


	8. The Truth

**Title: Never let your guard down**

**Author: Simple Plan Rulz**

**Rating: T, I'm not sure, I'm not very good with the whole ratings thing.**

**Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own ER or any of its characters.**

**Sorry it took so long to update I've been in France for the past two weeks, thanks for all the reviews whilst I been away!**

Author's notes on the chapter: At first I was simply going to write that Ray and Abby laugh about the night before and then just decide they love each other, but then I realized that wouldn't work. So sat down and listened to 'The Truth' by Good Charlotte on repeat, (I always do when I'm trying to think!) but I fell asleep! And the middle of this chapter, the bit where Abby is having a hallucination type thingy, is based on my dream, except Abby takes the place of me. The reason I decided to make Abby faint in this chapter is because I read this thing that said that when people with epilepsy faint they have these dreams/hallucinations and that's why they believe that the prophets from the bible where epileptic and that was how God spoke to them! So that's where I got the whole idea from! It may seem a bit weird at first but if you read it a couple of times over (as I had to do) it makes sense. So this chapter is appropriately named 'the truth' as that's what gave me the idea!

Chapter 8: The Truth

Ray's eyes flickered open and he starred up at the ceiling. It was a strange ceiling, it wasn't his bedrooms ceiling and it wasn't the ceiling above Abby sofa, where he had been sleeping for a while now, no, it was a different ceiling, but who's?

Slowly the feeling in his body came back to him, first the tips of his fingers, he was holding someone's hand, he tried to turn his head but he couldn't. Then the feeling came to his hands, his forearms then all the way up to his shoulders, he was wrapped around someone, their body was familiarly soft and comforting, but whose was it?

As the feeling returned to his face he smelt the air and instantly knew where he was, he could recognize that smell a mile off, it was the most beautiful smell in the world, it was Abby's smell.

As he breathed in the air around him the reality of the situation came crashing down on him, last night came back to him. He couldn't believe it, after all that, he goes and screw it up. Typical Ray all he does is screw everything up, he felt like hitting himself, and hard, how could he be so stupid? He had just completely wrecked any chance he had with Abby, ruined, all hope, gone.

But he loved her. Yet she would never be his, but he still loved her, against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragements that could be. He would never get over her, she was in his every thought, everything he saw, ate, heard, smelt and touched, Abby was there. In short she was a part of him now, a part of him that could never leave him; it would stay there for ever and ever. But he had screwed it up and now he could never have her.

He spent every moment of his life wanting to be with her and being unhappy because he was not with her and yet when he was with her he was still unhappy because she was not his. He slowly began to accept that this was how he was going to feel for the rest of his life. He did not hate her for causing him so much unhappiness, he could never hate her, he only hated himself, for screwing it up.

His thoughts where suddenly interrupted as she began to move, she was waking up. "Ray," she mumbled.

"Yes?"

"I have the worst headache,"

"That's probably cause you drank to much, come on," he pulled her closer to him, "Let me help,"

He walked over to the kitchen cupboard and picked up some paracetamol and gave it to her with some water.

"Drink these, it will help, trust me," he handed it to her.

"Look Ray, about yesterday..."

"Shh," he placed a finger over her lips "What about yesterday?"

"No Ray," she pushed him away, "We're gonna have to face up to the reality of what happened at some point."

"Yer, at some point, but not now," he snuggled up to her again, "the mornings are for rest, we can deal with all the stresses and strains of life later, but now we can sit, peacefully,"

She smiled. How did he do it? Make her feel this way, it's like he had a power over her and just like that he could erase all the worries from the past and all the worries for the future, and in that instant, she would feel completely and truly happy. No one else had ever made her feel like that.

Was that love? Was that what she was feeling? True love like she had never experienced before? For Ray? No, she could love Ray, he was her friend, they were just friends, just friends...

She snapped back to reality, "Ray we need to go to work,"

He shook his head, he didn't want to go to work, as soon as they left for work he have to face up to reality and it would be all awkward, if he could have had anything in the world it would be that that moment would last forever and he never have to face up to, to the truth.

She walked of to go take a shower and just like that she was gone. He would see her again in 10 minutes, but she wouldn't be the same, they could never be the same again after, yesterday. The very thought ran through Ray's veins like ice and he felt he body seize up.

Why? Why him? What had he done to deserve all this suffering? He would never know.

Abby and Ray went to work and, as predicted she spent the rest of the day ignoring him. Whenever they did have to talk there were so many awkward silences between them. The silence drove into Ray like a thousand knives, he hated it more than anything, he couldn't stand it any longer, just having to live with it. There was no way he was putting up with it for the rest of his life, he would never love anyone else, she was the one.

Ray knew what he had to do, he had to tell her, it would never work, it was silly, but he couldn't run for the rest of his life, running was almost worse than rejection. He had tried to run from his dad, but his dad was still there in his dreams and in all the kids he had to treat because they'd suffered abuse at home too. He couldn't run anymore.

When Abby came home she saw Ray sitting on her sofa. Perfectly still, almost zombie like. He shocked her, she had expected him to go home to his apartment, why was he here? Did he want to talk about last night? Surly he knew it was far too awkward to be talking about it now?

"Hey," he spoke in a low, quieter and sadder voice she had never heard before. He seemed hurt, sort of like when he talked about his dad.

"Ray I..."

"Shh," he stopped her, "I don't want you to say anything, at least not till I finish,"

She nodded.

"I don't know how to say this but, I love you," he said it bolder now "I love you, I have done for, for a long time now, and I know that you may think I don't know if I love you but I know, I know because you are a part of me, you are a part of everything I do, part of the little good and part of the little evil in me, do you understand?"

She just starred back at him blankly, he didn't want to drop it all on her so hard, but he had to tell her, she had to know, for once, how he truly felt.

"And I know, you may not feel the same way about me, and I except that, hell I expect that, but you have to tell me, straight, because otherwise I'll go crazy. You have to tell me the truth, please?"

He leaned over and pushed a button on the hi-fi, 'The Truth' by Good Charlotte echoed round the room.

_So here we are,_

_We are alone,_

_This weight on your mind,_

_And I wanna know,_

_The truth,_

_If this is how you feel,_

_Say it to me,_

_If this was ever real_

Why? Why did he have to do this to her? Say he loved her? She wanted to love him, she really did, she would give anything in the world to love him, it would just make everything so much simpler. But she couldn't, she had feelings for him, maybe, but love, she just wasn't ready to love again, not after Jake and Carter... But then she remembered back to that night when she had first truly had a serious talk with Ray about how Jake loved her and he had reminded her that the past didn't matter; it was how she felt there and then, so maybe she did love him?

_I want the truth, _

_From you,_

_Give me truth,_

_Even if it hurts me_

But want if she didn't? What if she just thought she did? He wanted the truth, and she had to give it to him, but how could she when she didn't even know it herself. She looked into his deep green eyes; she couldn't help noticing how old, worn and sad they looked, like an old war veteran who had seen too much suffering. They were so mysterious and deep, like she could get lost in them for hours and hours...

She opened her eyes and looked around; she appeared to be in a dark room, there was a little boy of about 8 or 9 sitting in his bed. She walked over to him and asked the first and most obvious question that popped into her head, "Where am I? Why am I here?"

"Shh," the boy placed his fingers on her lips in a familiar manner, the pointed towards the door and she heard a drunken man laughing and talking to himself outside.

She turned back to the boy and looked into his eyes, and just like that it all fell into place, the boy was Ray. She was in Ray's room but why?

"Why am I here she asked again?"

"Because you came here," he answered simply, as if it was obvious.

"Why would I come here?"

"For the Truth,"

_I want the truth, _

_From you,_

_Give me truth,_

_Even if it hurts me_

"Do you know?"

The boy nodded.

"How do you know?"

The boy pointed at a young girl sitting on the floor, playing with a doll's house, who up until that point Abby hadn't noticed. "She told me,"

The girl looked up at Abby and Abby felt a chill run through her, it was her.

"Is that me?"

The boy nodded again, "Why are you so surprised?"

"Because it isn't normal to be told you loved someone by yourself."

The boy laughed and unmistakable Ray laugh "What part of this is normal?"

He had a point.

"And you knew you loved him, that's how she knew, you just weren't prepared to accept it."

"Why not?"

"Because you where afraid."

The girl moved ands sat next to her on the bed, she took her hand, "Its okay, we all get afraid sometimes, even we do,"

Abby didn't like the idea that the girl was referring to them as one single person, it was quite weird, to say the least.

"I get afraid," the boy spoke up, "a lot, I just don't tell you,"

"You don't tell me much,"

"No, well not now, I still feel vulnerable, but in time, don't worry, in time, you shall see,"

A silence fell over them as they all seemed to reflect on what was happening.

_I want the truth, _

_From you,_

_Give me truth,_

_Even if it hurts me_

"Sometimes," the boy explained "you have to face your fears,"

It was almost as he said the word fear, that they heard a noise coming from outside, it was Ray's dad.

"Hide," the boy yelled.

Abby found herself hiding in the shadows, the girl was nowhere in sight, but Ray was sitting in his bed, shaking, with fear.

"Ray," the man banged and the door, "Ray are you awake?"

"Yes dad," the boy whimpered back.

The door slammed open, light streamed in, luckily Abby remained in the shadows, unlike Ray, she was safe.

"Do you respect me boy?" Ray's dad commanded.

"Of...course...dad," the boys stuttered.

"Come here,"

Ray obeyed and walked over to his father. He gripped Ray by the shoulders.

"Cause I don't think you do,"

Abby could have smelt the alcohol from a mile of.

"Tell me," he shoke his son, "tell me again,"

Ray look absolutely petrified and yet somewhere he managed to get the courage to reply "NO!"

Abby couldn't believe it, right there in front of her Ray was facing up to his biggest fear; she had no idea, that at just 8 or 9, Ray was braver than she could ever be.

Ray's dad smacked him hard in the face, "What was that?"

And just like that, it hit her, that's what he meant, she had to be brave too, she couldn't just stand here and watch, she moved out into the light and stood in between Ray and his father.

"Who are you? What are you doing here?"

"Leave him alone,"

"What makes you think you have the right to tell me how to treat my boy?" he moved closer to her so he was breathing straight into her face, the stench of alcohol was almost unbearable, "well?"

She look at him, she could feel herself shaking with fear, she decided to let the fear in, for just a little, she stopped breathing and her heart stopped beating, for what seemed like an eternity, but she knew it could have only have been for second, if that, she breathed out, she wasn't afraid anymore.

"I'm not afraid of you," she said it loudly, clearly and boldly.

"You may not be now," he lifted his arm like he was about to take a swing, she remained perfectly still, "but you will be,"

She stood there looking straight into his eyes, she was not afraid anymore, of Ray's dad or that she was in love with Ray.

He swung smacking her straight in the eye, she felt a crack like her nose had broke, it hurt so bad, but she still wasn't afraid, she her someone calling, it was Ray.

"Abby!"

It wasn't young Ray anymore, it was Ray as she knew him now, he was kneeling over her.

"Abby!"

She felt her eyes close as the darkness around her consumed everything.

_Just give me the truth_

_Give me the truth_

_Cause I don't care no more._

She opened her eyes as the song began to fade out; she was back in her apartment, lying on the floor next to the sofa.

"You okay?" Ray asked

She nodded.

"You fainted!"

She smiled, he saw her lips move, she was trying to say something, it looked like 'colorful?'

"I love you," she spoke at last, "And I'm not afraid."

He nodded and smiled the most sincere smile she had ever seen.

"And that's the truth."

**I got the last bit from this thing someone told me about how when you mouth colorful it looks like your mouthing 'I love you'! I'm going to be in China for the next to weeks so I won't be able to update but I'll update the next chapter when I get back. Plus it's not like I'm leaving on any cliffhangers! I think the next chapter starts a couple of weeks after this one anyway, so it's not like I'm about to write something big! **


	9. Gossip: A Love or Hate Thing

Title: Never Let Your Guard Down

Author: Simple Plan Rulz

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I don't ER or any of its character etc etc

Author's notes on the chapter: Sorry it took me forever to update but I have been very very busy lately! This chapter takes place soon after the last, it's about Neela and Susan trying to figure out what's going on with Ray's and Abby's relationship!

Chapter 9: Gossip, A Love/Hate Thing!

Abby and Ray where on their way to work.

"You know Susan and Neela are trying to figure out what's going on, with us, as like a couple,"

Ray laughed "Ahh the gossip queens are at it again,"

"Yer, they truly believe there's something going on with us!"

"There is,"

Abby laughed "Yer," she kissed him "but they don't know that!"

"They're gonna figure it out at some point, you know that,"

"Yer, but Ray, I don't mean to be rude, but please don't tell them about us, I don't want them to know just yet,"

"Sure," Ray shrugged, "Whatever you want,"

Abby smiled and kissed him on the cheek, "thanks!"

* * *

Susan shook her head, "Abby's still not breaking on the whole Ray thing,"

"I know, she refuses to talk to me about it," Neela explained.

"Maybe we're approaching this from the wrong angle,"

"I'm not following,"

"Well we still haven't talked to Ray yet, and you know how much he loves talking about his sex life,"

"Tell me about it, but how are you gonna get Ray alone, Abby always seems to be with him whenever he isn't working!"

"Trust me," Susan smiled "I have my ways,"

* * *

Ray wondered slowly into the break room, where Abby had told him to meet her. Down the corridor she was talking to Susan, she didn't seem very happy. After a few words Abby sighed and walked off in the other direction. _Where was she going?_

Ray looked at Susan who had turn around, her eyes met his and she started walking straight towards the break room. She never stopped looking at him. It took only an instant for Ray to realise what was going on, Susan was coming to get the gossip. He first thought was to run, if Susan talked to him, he was worried he might end up spilling something. But the staff room had only one door which, if he walked out of it, he would bump straight into Susan anyway. So he decided to stay, and just do his best.

"Ray," Susan sat down next to him, "Having a break?"

Ray nodded.

"How are you Ray? I just curious cause I get the feeling we don't talk much,"

"Okay," Ray shrugged.

"And Abby? You and her okay?"

"We're good friends,"

"Oh, cause you see, there are rumours going round saying that you and Abby are, together?"

"Nope, just good ole friends,"

"So there's nothing going on between, not even the slightest little thing?"

"Nope,"

"Oh," Susan looked extremely disappointed.

"Okay, well off you go, back to work,"

Ray smiled and walked of down the corridor. When suddenly something grabbed him from the side and pulled him into a dark room.

"Hello?" Ray whispered.

"Ray, its me," Abby whispered, "I've been waiting for you,"

They began to make out.

"You know I'm kinda liking all this sneaking around," Ray laughed.

His hands slowly moved up her top, which a few moments later was on the floor along with Ray's.

Then suddenly Ray felt a blinding flash of light, "Ahh, what was that for?"

He turned around to see Neela and Susan. Abby quickly pushed Ray away from her, but it was too late, they had seen it all.

Susan and Neela both cheered "I knew something was going on between you two!"

They both gave each other a high five and left to go tell everyone.

Ray and Abby gave each other a look, both knowing that in a few moments everyone in the hospital would know about them.

"I hate gossip," Abby stated.

Ray laughed, "Well if I remember correctly, it was you and Susan who used to be the big gossipers round here,"

"Shut-up."

"Ray laughed, "ahh, gossip, you either love it or you hate it!"

**That was a bit of a fill in chapter but the next one is very important to the whole story line! So they kind even each other out!**


	10. Perfect

**Title: Never Let Your Guard Down.**

**Author: Simple Plan Rulz**

**Rating: T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own ER etc etc**

**Author Notes on the story: This is a quite crucial chapter in the story, it's kinda what the stories all about, I thought up this chapter and the last chapters, before I thought of the beginning!**

**Thanks for all the reviews, keep em coming!**

Chapter 9: Perfect

Abby woke up slowly, her bed was cold, so she leaned over to hug Ray. He wasn't there. Abby sighed, _again._

Ever since Ray had moved from the couch to the bedroom, Abby had noticed that about once a week Ray would get up, in the middle of the night,and wonder around the apartment. He even went to the shops once before. The first time he had done it Abby had confronted him about it. He looked very upset when she mentioned it and just mumbled "I couldn't sleep." She got the feeling he didn't want to talk about it, which meat that what was bothering him was very obvious, his dad.

She was beginning to get worried now, it was the third time this week that Ray hadn't been able too sleep. She knew he wouldn't want to talk about it, but it was about time he told her what was bothering him, they were supposed to be able to talk about these things. So she got up and walked into the living room.

He was sitting on the windowsill staring out at the ground below, watching the empty streets, lit by flickers of light all along the road.

"Abby," he said softly, "I'm sorry if I woke you." He never took his eyes of the road.

"No, no, you didn't, I just came to see what you were doing,"

"Watching and thinking,"

"About what?" she sat down next to him.

"Stuff,"

"What stuff?"

"Just general stuff,"

She touched his arm softly, "You can tell me about this stuff you know,"

He finally shifted his glance from the window, to looking at Abby, his eyes where blood shod and sad, aged before their time. "Sometimes I get dreams,"

She waited for him to continue.

"About stuff that I'd wish I never seen, bad memories you know, past coming back to haunt you,"

Abby nodded and cuddled up to him further.

"Before it was okay you know, I could deal with it, but lately it's been getting worse, some pretty serious shit keeps playing and playing, over and over in my mind."

Although she couldn't admit it, Abby was scared. She never knew quite what, she never thought she would completely know, but Ray had defiantly witnessed some pretty bad things in his life, which not only worried her, but freighted her. It was surprising though, how well adjusted he was, many people would suffer a life of counseling, but not Ray, he just seemed to go on day after day, looking and acting mentally stable. Which also worried Abby, not everyone was that perfect.

"Coarse worst is yet to come," he shuddered atjust mentioning it.

"You have to talk about though, you can keep it all bottled up."

He nodded, and then paused before saying, "I wrote a song," he picked up his guitar, "you wanna hear it?"

She nodded. He began to play, it was the most beautiful and yet the saddest song she had ever heard. She wished she could take all of his pain away, and it pained her to think that she couldn't, that he would have to live with this for the rest of his life.

_Hey Dad,_

_Look at me,_

_Think back and talk to me,  
Did I grow up according to plan?  
And do you think I'm wasting my time,_

_Doing things I wanna do?  
But it hurts when you disapprove,_

_All along. _

And now I try hard to make it,  
I just want to make you proud,  
I'm never gonna be good enough for you,  
I can't pretend that I'm alright,  
And you can't change me,

Cuz we lost it all,  
Nothing lasts forever,  
I'm sorry I can't be Perfect,  
Now it's just too late,  
And we can't go back,  
I'm sorry I can't be Perfect.

I try not to think,  
About the pain I feel inside,  
Did you know you used to be my hero?  
All the days you spent with me,  
Now seem so far away,  
And it feels like you don't care anymore.

And now I try hard to make it,  
I just want to make you proud,  
I'm never gonna be good enough for you,  
I can't stand another fight,  
And nothings alright.

Cuz we lost it all,  
Nothing lasts forever,  
I'm sorry I can't be Perfect,  
Now it's just too late,  
And we can't go back,  
I'm sorry I can't be Perfect.

Nothing's gonna change the,

_things that you said,  
And nothing's gonna make this,  
Right again,  
Please don't turn your back I, _

_Can't believe it's hard,  
Just to talk to you,  
But you don't understand. _

Cuz we lost it all,  
Nothing lasts forever,  
I'm sorry I can't be Perfect,  
Now it's just too late,  
And we can't go back,  
I'm sorry I can't be Perfect.

Cuz we lost it all,  
Nothing lasts forever,  
I'm sorry I can't be Perfect,  
Now it's just too late,  
And we can't go back,  
I'm sorry I can't be

_Perfect._

"It's beautiful," Abby commented.

Ray nodded.

She smiled at him, "I think you're perfect you know that?"

He nodded and sighed, "my dad doesn't." And they both knew that was what mattered most.

**I know I kinda stole the simple plan song and made it Ray's but it just sounded better that way. This chapters also cool cause normally I write in Ray's POV, but this time I used Abby's just to show what she was thinking about the whole thing. **


	11. The 'Rents Part 1

**Title: Never Let Your Guard Down.**

**Author: Simple Plan Rulz**

**Rating: T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own ER etc etc**

**Author's Notes on Chapter: This is sort of the first part of 2 chapters, it kind of sets the scene for the next chapter, and if I merged the two together, it would be a really long chapter so I just split it into two! Sorry it took so long to update, I will try to update the next chapter really quickly as its all part of like the same thing.**

**Thanks for all the reviews!**

**Chapter 11: The 'Rents Part 1**

Ray stumbled into the apartment, unlike usual Abby had managed to finish all her work on time today. She was worried when Susan told her she was gonna have to take another twelve hour shift because numbers where so short, but thankfully, Ray believes in chivalry, and offered to take the shift so she could go home and get some rest.

Ray wasn't just tired; he was so tired he could probably fall asleep standing up. He threw his bag down and dropped onto the floor. He was contemplating crawling all the way down the corridor to the bedroom, but that just seem like far too much effort, maybe he could crawl a few meters to the sofa, but that to, involved too much effort. Besides, the floor was perfectly comfortable. Ray pulled his bag closer and used it as a pillow. He was about to drift of when Abby poked him. "Ray, what are you doing?"

"Sleeping," he mumbled.

"On the floor?"

"Yah-huh,"

"Wouldn't it just be easier, and more comfortable, to sleep on a bed?"

"Nah-uh,"

"Ray," she began to shake him, "come on, come to bed,"

He shook his head.

"Ray," she sat back, "your just gonna give yourself back ache sleeping on the floor like this!"

He didn't move.

"Ray,"

Still no movement.

"Ray, hello!"

She tried everything, shaking him, waving in front of his face, nothing, he was out cold. She gave up and went to bed herself.

* * *

Neela pushed hard onto the door but it still wouldn't open, something must be in the way. "Hello!" She knocked on the door. "Hello!" she knocked harder now, "HELLO!" she shouted. 

"Oh sorry about that," Abby voice came from within, "Ray's kinda lying in front of the door, hang on I'll just move him,"

Neela was really confused, had Abby just said that Ray was lying in front of the door? It seemed very unusual. The door final opened a bit and Neela went inside. Lying on the floor, now slightly to the side of the door, was Ray.

Abby saw Neela looking at him and just shook her head, "Don't ask,"

Neela laughed, "I wasn't gunna,so listen the reason I came her is I kinda need a favor,"

"Okay,"

"And...well...maybe you should wake Ray up because he plays a big part of this too."

Abby shook her head, "trust me, I've tried"

"Oh okay well, you see, my parents called the other day, said they wanted me to take some time off and come see them in England, you know, and they said I should bring my friends too."

"Okay, so?"

"So! So! So you don't know my parents, they judge the type of friends I have as who I am, so if I have immature and impolite friends, my parents assume that I'm immature and impolite."

"That's whack!"

"I know, that's why I need a favor from you guys, I need you to come to England with me and just be really normal and dull and proper, they'll like that."

"Ray! Normal! Dull! Proper! I don't think that's ever gonna happen."

"I know, but I'm really desperate!"

"Well sure, anything for a friend and a vacation to England will be fun!"

"Trust me, this won't be a vacation," Neela paused, looking shifty, "oh and there's also this other little bit I forgot to mention..."

"Neela..."

"Well, you see, my parents where kinda of going on about how they wished I would get married and that they could get me this arranged marriage to my 3rd cousin and how great it would be and well, I kinda of pretended to them I was in a serious relationship with someone else, you know, to get out of the arranged marriage..."

"Neela, who did you tell parents you we're in a serious relationship with?"

Neela avoided eye contact with Abby, "Ray,"

"Oh my god Neela!" Abby was rushing around, freaking out.

"Look, I know it sounds really stupid, but I was desperate not to have an arranged marriage and well, I would have asked someone else but you see, you guys are my only friends..."

At this Abby stopped. It was true, Abby was supposed to be Neela's friend and it was obvious Neela really needed her help at the moment. Abby hugged her, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have freaked out, I mean you're my friend and you need my help, that's all you should have had to say."

Neela smiled "Its okay."

The girls where in the middle of a friendly embrace when suddenly something dawned on Abby, "There's just one problem,"

"What?"

Abby pointed at Ray, "How are we gonna break it to him?"

**Thats the end of chapter eleven, the next chapter starts on the way to Neela's parents! Like mention previously I'll do all I can to update asap!**


	12. The 'Rents Part 2

**Title: Never Let Your Guard Down.**

**Author: Simple Plan Rulz**

**Rating: T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own ER etc etc**

**Author's notes on the chapter: This is part 2 of this part of the story. Okay I lied, the first part of this chapter takes place like right after the next, then it skips to being on the plane. I like this chapter, because the whole situation is quite funny and because it has a lot of NeelaRayAbby bonding! Which is cute, cause I think they make quite a sweet bunch! Plus we see Ray being nice to Neela, which although he normally isn't on the show, I get the feeling that Ray and Neela are friendly sometimes.**

Chapter 12: The 'Rents Part 2

Abby sat next to Ray, eating her cereal. She had tried everything; she had shaken him, shouted and screamed at him and she'd even thrown a bit of water over him. Nothing, he didn't even twitch.

"Ray," she poked him with the spoon. "Come on now Ray, this is boring,"

Still no movement. She flicked some milk at him, nothing.

"For God's sake," She screamed and dropped the entire contents of the bowl onto Ray's head

She was in the process of washing her bowl, when Ray stirred.

"Abby," Ray moaned and began to move a little, he licked his face, "Why have I got cereal on me?"

"Long story, now hurry up and go have a shower, we've got to be at work soon,"

Ray grudgingly abided.

* * *

"So, right lets go over this again,"

"Neela," Ray whined, "We've been over this a thousand times, I practically know your parents better than they do and I'm now an expert in your family history and how to behave in front of them, trust me, we do not need to go over this again,"

"I agree with Ray," Abby joined in, "It's going to be okay,"

"I dunno, maybe we should go over the greetings one last time,"

"NO!" Ray and Abby both demanded, they had already spent 7 of the 8 hour flight, and even more time beforehand, going over how to behave around Neela's parents which includes the 'short' history of Neela's family.

"When you guys meet my parents you'll understand why it was necessary to go through this so many times."

"Sure Neela," Ray smiled.

* * *

Once they had cleared customs, they found Neela's parents waiting for them. Neela's dad had his hair wrapped in a turban, with a relatively short dark beard with grey wisps. Neela's mum was relatively plump, but she had features which where obviously once, very beautiful, sadly, they where hidden behind a pair of very large and thick glasses. She had longish dark hair. It was quite easy to see where Neela had got her beauty from. Not that Ray thought Neela was pretty or anything.

Ray shook her father hand, "Mr. Rasgotra, I'm Ray Barnett,"

He gave Ray and excepting nod, "You must be the handsome man my daughter is dating,"

Ray smiled, "And Mrs. Rasgotra, Neela has told me so many great things about you,"

"Oh," she hugged Ray, "Well aren't you quite the gentleman,"

Neela smiled; clearly happy her parents liked Ray.

Once all the greetings had been said, Ray insisted upon carrying all the bags to the car.

* * *

"So this is Neela's room," Mr. Rasgotra was giving them a tour and showing them where their rooms where. Ray went in a put his and Neela's bags inside, he had wrongly assumed that as he and Neela were supposedly in a 'serious relationship' that he would have to share a room with her.

"Your room is just round the corner," Mrs. Rasgotra pointed to Ray, who looked quite surprised.

"Well Ray, don't you want to take your bag to your room," Neela gave Ray a nudge, annoyed because she had been over this with him on the plane, her parents would have been shocked if Neela had requested a room with Ray before they were married.

Ray picked up his bag and strolled into his room. He was already pissed off because now Abby's room was all the way down the corridor from his and it was past Neela's parents' room, which meant sneaking to Abby's room at night now proved to be more difficult. He took his shirt and pants off, so he could change into some jeans and a cool t-shirt. He hated wearing proper shirts. He heard the door creak and, thinking it was Abby, said "Hey gorgeous, couldn't wait to see me?"

Of course when he spun round, it wasn't. At first he thought it was Neela but then he realized that the girl was younger and sexier than Neela.

"Wow! My sis really managed to get a hot guy like you?"

"Err," Ray fumbled uncomfortably, "yer I guess so, me and Neela." _Me and Neela, Me and Neela._ It just sounded not right to him; it was Ray and Abby, that sounded right.

"You don't sound to sure of it," Neela's sister moved closer, so close she was practically touching his chest, "you know you could do so much better than my sister, for example, me,"

Had Ray not been in love with Abby or in the current crazy Neela situation, he would have totally gone for it. But he was, so he stepped back and held out his hand, "I'm Ray,"

She laughed "Whatever, but if you ever wanna continue this, my rooms right next door," she shook his hand, "I'm Maya, by the way,"

He smiled, "that's a nice name,"

She smiled a sweet, fake innocent smile, "it means illusion, as in I appear sweet and innocent but actually, I'm a bad girl." She giggled and left.

Ray just stood there looking bemused. This was certainly going to be and interesting weekend.

Ray came downstairs to the lovely smell, of a home cooked Indian meal.

"Mrs. Rasgotra, this smells delicious," Ray commented.

"Please," she smiled at his flattery, "call me Saloni,"

"So Ray, you are a fan of Indian food?" Mr. Rasgotra asked.

"I love it, I only recently discovered it though, and my family tended to only have simple meals when I was younger,"

"If you want, I could give you a few recipes, so next time your parents come round you can make them a lovely meal," Saloni suggested.

Ray smiled and just starred down at his lap.

"Mum," Neela touched her mother's arm, "Ray's parents are dead,"

"Oh," Saloni looked sad, "I'm sorry to hear that."

"Nah, its okay, I guess I could still make it for myself and..." Ray almost said Abby, until he remembered, "and...and...Neela,"

Saloni laughed "I'm sure Neela can cook Indian for you anytime you want, has she cooked you anything yet?"

"Yer," Ray nodded.

"Like what,"

Ray thought on the spot, "curry,"

"Curry?" she turned to Neela, "The boy loves Indian food and all you make him is a curry?"

"And plenty of other stuff of course," Ray added quickly.

"Hmm," Saloni did not seem so sure.

Ray was just sitting there, enjoying his meal, when something touched the inside of his leg, rubbing up and down. At first Ray looked up and Abby who was sitting across the table from him, but no, she was too far away. So he turned to his side and, of course, it was Maya. She was smiling. He gave her a look and she stopped, for now.

The rest of the dinner went well, they just talked about work and well boring stuff, Ray would never normally have talked or acted the way he did, but, for Neela sake, he had to pretend to be interested. Thankfully, Maya left him alone for the rest of the dinner.

* * *

After dinner, Neela came to talk to Ray, "Thanks for being so cool about this you know,"

Ray smiled, "Its fine,"

"My parents really like you; I can hear them talking about marriage plans downstairs,"

Ray shrugged "Well, I am irresistible,"

Neela laughed sarcastically, but then she seemed to look calmer, more sincere, "Thanks Ray, for everything,"

"Its okay,"

She smiled and walked out.

* * *

That evening Ray was sitting on his bed, waiting for everyone to fall asleep, when Maya walked in.

"Hey," she went and sat on his bed.

"Hey," he smiled politely at her.

She smiled, like she was up to something, "I know about the affair,"

Okay, now Ray was confused. "What?"

"I know your cheating on Neela with your friend Abby, I see the way you look at her and when I touched your leg I saw you look up at her, like you thought it was her and not Neela or me,"

Ray shook his head, "No, I love Neela, she means everything to me, I would never do something like that to her," it felt weird to confess his love for Neela, but he got over it, "Why are you trying so hard to believe I would cheat on Neela?"

"Because I always get the hot guys and it's just not fair, how come Neela gets a boyfriend who's all perfect and good looking?" she moaned like a child.

He smiled, he almost wanted to tell her the truth, that actually Neela was in the same situation as her, but he liked toying with Maya, "I wouldn't be to sure about that if I was you,"

"What do you mean?"

"Just that there are plenty of fish in the sea, so I'm sure there's someone out there for you."

"Whatever," she paused, "So there's no chance for me and you?"

"Sorry," he smiled, "I'm in love with the most amazing women you will ever meet." For once he wasn't lying.

She sighed and went off to bed, or so he thought.

* * *

Ray waited about ten minutes before getting up, to go to Abby's room. If he had bothered to check the corridor, to make sure no one was there before sneaking off to Abby's room, he would have seen Maya's eyes watching him to the side of her door. But he hadn't. Maya had expected him to go into Neela's room, but he had he continued along the corridor all the way to Abby's.

Maya gasped, she didn't believe it, was hot Mr. Perfect really cheating on her sister, _I mean before I had just been playing with him, _was_ it really true?_

_No_ she told herself _he just left something in her room and went to go get it or maybe he wanted to talk about planning a surprise for Neela or maybe...maybe...maybe. _Maya knew she just had to face it. He was cheating on her sister.

* * *

"Hey," Ray walked into Abby's room.

"Ray," she sat up, "we shouldn't, what if..."

"What if what? Come on Abby..."

"I dunno Ray,"

He climbed onto the bed and leaned over her, she couldn't resist him.

"Fine just be really quiet,"

He laughed and bent down to her ear and whispered, "I'm not the one who has to be quiet; you're the one that screams so loud."

Abby didn't object, she just went very red.

* * *

Ray was kissing Abby's neck; it was so soft and so sweet. He loved the smell of Abby's neck, he couldn't quite describe how it smelt, it just smelt so...

There was a sudden blinding ness, a white light, Ray wasn't quite what was going on, was it something he had eaten? Was he dying? They often said when you die you see a white light. Ray turned round; he had a felling he was not dead, yet. The whole Rasgotra family was starring at him, their mouths dropped right to the floor; he saw the look of horror in Neela eyes and he knew he had let her down, and it was quite possibly the worst feeling in the world.

**By the way the names used in this story (Maya and Saloni) are authentic indian names and Maya really does mean illusion.**

**Sorry I havent finished, it was just getting too long, I'll update part 3 asap!**


	13. The 'Rents Part 3

**Title: Never Let Your Guard Down.**

**Author: Simple Plan Rulz**

**Rating: T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own ER etc etc**

**Notes on spelling: Okay I officially apologize for all spelling mistakes in any of my fan fictions. You see, I am dyslexic and so spelling is difficult for me, I do use spell checker but it can't tell, for example, if I'm using the right there, or their. And, as a dyslexic I find checking my work myself extremely difficult, so apologies for the crap spelling. Also I'm from England and so spelling in England can be different to spelling in America, I have set the language on my computer to American (much to the annoyance of everyone else in my house, as it keeps telling them their spelling colour wrong!) but I don't think it picks it all up. So basically, sorry for the awful spelling.**

**Notes on chapter: soz for the delay, I've been in Lyon, France, for the last few days to visit my brother at his university. So here is the next chapter, thanks for all the reviews!**

**Chapter 13: The 'Rents Part 3 **

Ray and Abby hurriedly got dressed.

"You, I can't believe you," Neela screamed, making her way over to Abby, "You know, I expected this of him, but not of you, Abby, you're supposed to be the sensible one,"

"You have got no right to shout at me, we're the ones doing you a favor," Abby screamed back.

"Favor! Favor! It only a favor as long as you do it right! How do you think I'm going to explain this to my parents?"

Ray looked at the Rasgotra family, they didn't look angry, like he had expected them to, more confused, of course, they had no idea what Abby and Neela where arguing about. They seem to be arguing about something, but why Abby having an affair with Ray was a favor to Neela was beyond them.

Abby and Neela had been arguing for a while now, whilst Ray just stood there like a lemon. Abby had been packing up her stuff, and shouting at Neela, when she turned to Ray. "Ray, go get your stuff, we're leaving."

Ray nodded and went off to go pack his stuff.

* * *

The last 15 minutes had been a blur. Ray got his case, and went out to the car with Abby, who was still arguing with Neela, they had argued some more and then Abby drove off, still shouting at Neela as she went off down the driveway, towards the road.

The car journey ever since had been pretty silent. Ray wasn't quite sure where they were going but he didn't really care.

All he could think about was how they had just left Neela. She was supposed to be their friend and they just left her. It was weird, Abby was angry at Neela, Abby and Neela were like, never angry at each other. He still couldn't believe they had just left her to face the consequences of what they had done and, as much as Ray loved Abby and wanted to please her, he could let that happen.

"Pull over," Ray was quite angry, Abby should have known better than to abandon her best friend.

"What?" Abby looked at him confused.

"Just pull over, on the side of the road."

"Why?"

"Just do it."

Hesitantly, Abby pulled over.

Ray sighed, "We should go back,"

"What? No way, we we're doing her a favor by coming down here this weekend, she shouldn't have got mad at us,"

"Well, I dunno bout you, but if you ask me, it wasn't much of a favor. The whole reason she had us come down here this weekend was because she was worried about her parents judging her by her friends and about her parents getting her an arranged marriage, and I doubt very much that her parents think we're appropriate friends for Neela, and there probably gunna force her into that arranged marriage. She'd have been better off just pretending she could make it this weekend. We totally ruined everything for her. That's supposed to be a favor?"

Abby remained silent. This was the first time Ray had ever really stood up for someone, in front of her. She knew he was right, but she just didn't want to admit she was wrong. Instead she just got out the car and went and sat in the back, a clear signal she wasn't going to stop Ray, but that she also didn't want to be a part of this.

* * *

When they got back to Abby's house, Ray was about to get out of the car, when he turned round to talk to Abby.

"You coming?" He asked Abby. She shook her head.

Ray knocked on the front door, Neela opened it.

"I'm sorry," Ray admitted, "that was a total jack ass thing for me to do, you deserve better."

Neela nodded.

"Have you talked to them bout it yet?"

She shook her head.

"Come on," he took her hand, "I'll do it with you."

He strolled into the living room, Neela's parents where sitting on the sofa.

"Mr. and Mrs. Rasgotra," Ray began, "I know you probably really don't want to see me right now or even listen to me, but you just gotta give me the chance to explain something. You see, a few days ago, Neela came to me and Abby, asking us to come with her to London, to meet her parents. She'd asked us to be, like, on our best behavior cause, according to her, her parents tended to judge her, by the people she hung out with. And, well, I think that's not right. You guys are a good family, you work well together, trust me, I know, it takes having bad family to see how great a good one is. You wouldn't believe that your daughter was stupid, just cause she hung out with stupid people or that she was ugly, just cause she hung out with ugly people. You have got yourself a bright, intelligent and organized daughter, who, in my opinion, is also a great doctor. You should count yourself lucky. I know I would."

Neela couldn't believe it, up until now she had still been angry with Ray, but after that speech? How could she still be, it was the sweetest thing Ray had ever said about her.

"Thanks Ray," she smiled and hugged him.

"Listen," she turned to her parents, "Ray's not my boyfriend, he never was. Actually, he's going out with Abby! Hence, our little mix up! The reason I pretended he was, is that well, I didn't want you to get me that arranged marriage!"

"Oh baby," Saloni hugged her daughter, "You are so silly sometimes, if you didn't want an arranged marriage you just had to say!"

Neela laughed, "Really?"

"Of course," Mr. Rasgotra insisted.

The four of them where in the middle of a group hug moment, when they heard a knocking on the living room door. It was Abby.

"Look Neela, I'm sorry, I should have known better and I should have seen that I wasn't doing you a favor at all."

Neela smiled and went to go hug Abby, "Its okay, I'm sorry for shouting at you,"

"Friends?" Abby asked.

"Friends," Neela replied.

* * *

After the weekend, Abby, Neela and Ray had to go back to Chicago.

"Listen Ray," Saloni took Ray by the hand, "If your ever in need of a good family, we'll always be here, just give us a call,"

Ray smiled and hugged Saloni, it meant a lot to him, to be accepted into a family, even if it was Neela's!

"Good bye young man," Mr. Rasgotra shook Ray's hand. For some reason Ray liked Mr. Rasgotra, he was a man of few words, but he seemed very kind and wise. Ray would defiantly not have minded having a father like him.

"Come on Ray, let's go!" Abby called from the car.

"Bye Ray," Maya smiled down at himfrom the top of the stairs, "And if you ever break up with Abby, you know who to call!"

"Maya!" her mother shouted at her, "Go back to your room!"

* * *

Once Ray had put all his stuff on the car, and they where finally on the road, the three of the looked at each other.

"It was a good weekend," Neela smiled.

"Yer, we had a good time with the 'rents!" Ray laughed.

**Wow, the past three chapters have felt like a mini fan fic in themselves! It will be weird going back to the main story. Plus I've just realized that the past three chapters haven't really helped the main story very much at all! Oh well. The next chapter is more important! Abby finally decides to go to one of Rays gigs! But things go horribly wrong! **


	14. Shrug It Off

**Title: Never Let Your Guard Down.**

**Author: Simple Plan Rulz**

**Rating: T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own ER etc etc**

**Sorry I took forever to update, I have been busy with music coursework latlely!**

**Author's notes on the chapter: So, I sat down to write this chapter and I thought, 'OMG! I haven't sent Abby to one of Ray's gigs yet,' Which is something I defiantly wanted to do, with in the story, because at the beginning, Abby is supposed to not like Ray's music and then, though-out the story I was planning to have it grow on her, so obviously going to Ray's gigs is important. So I had them go to a gig, but, in true me style, I couldn't just leave it at that so there's all this build up to going to the gig, and like the aftermath of the gig (you'll understand when you read it). Oh yer, and for some unknown reason, the reception seems to be quite a focal point at the beginning of this chapter! But yer, anyway I'll stop blabbering and get in with it. Thanks very much for all the reviews, especially krazypirategurl who has now reviewed my story 11 times! (yer, I counted!)**

**Chapter 14: Shrug it off**

(Chapter starts with Ray and Abby in the kitchen, on Wednesday)

"So guess what?"

"What?" Abby replied, clearing up the dishes from dinner.

"I've got another gig on Saturday!"

"You know, I've always wanted to go to one of your gigs."

"Yer? You should come,"

"Sure, if I can convince Morris to let me have Saturday night off!"

Ray shrugged, "Just shake your boobs at him a bit!"

"WHAT?"

"He's totally got a crush on you; just shake your boobs a bit and he'll give you whatever you want!"

"Shut-up!" she threw the dish cloth at him.

"Hey!" Ray looked at the huge wet patch on the side of his t-shirt "you got my t-shirt all wet!"

Abby shrugged, "Oh well, guess you'll just have to take it off!" she lifted it off, over his head.

Ray smiled, he liked this idea.

* * *

(Thursday)

"Hey Neela," Abby called her over, she had just finished up in trauma, "you wanna come to Ray's gig with me on Saturday?"

Neela raised her eyebrow.

"Please, come on, I need you and it'll be fun!"

Neela sighed, "Fine, whatever,"

* * *

(Later on that day)

Neela strolled into reception, Sam was busy writing on the board and Susan was fiddling with some charts.

"Hey Neela!" Sam called her, "You up to anything interesting on Saturday? I see you have the night off!"

"No, I'm just going to one of Rays gig's with Abby,"

"Oooo, sounds like fun, an evening with Abby and her toyboy! You know I might as well just write third-wheel on your forehead in this big, black marker!"

"Hey," Abby had obviously appeared in reception, early enough to have heard Sam, "Neela will not be the third wheel; she's coming because Ray will be on stage all the time and so I need someone to hang with me!"

The girls looked at each other, trying not to laugh.

"And besides," Abby continued, "he is not my toyboy!"

All the girls burst out laughing.

"Abby, just face it," Susan patted her on the shoulder, "everyone knows you as 'that female doctor who's dating that young doctor who paints his nails black!"

"UH! He hardly ever does that anymore!"

"I know," Susan said sarcastically, "I know!"

"Whatever," Abby shook her hair, "you're all just jealous cause I got the young, good looking doctor and you didn't!" Abby stormed off, in a huff.

"What?" Sam exclaimed, looking slightly sheepish and going red, "we are so not jealous!"

"Yer, like we'd be into Ray!" Susan added, also slightly red.

"Yer, I'm totally not in anyway, shape or form, interested in Ray Barnett!" commented Neela who's cheeks where now bright red.

The girls avoided each others gaze for a few minutes, before making their excuses and leaving.

* * *

(Friday)

"Look, there's Morris," Ray pointed to Morris, who was in the reception, "put this on,"

He reached into his bag, and pulled out one of Abby's tops, which was, extremely low cut.

"Where did you get this?" said Abby putting it on.

"Out of your draws, this morning," Ray explained.

"So, you just went poking around in my draws!"

"Yer," Ray didn't understand what was so wrong with that.

What if you'd found something I didn't want you to see!"

"Like what?"

"Like, I dunno, stuff from my previous relationships!"

"I doubt it; I go through your draws all the time and I never found anything like that!"

"Uh! Well don't ever do it again."

"Sure, whatever," Ray blatantly wasn't listening, "So just go over to Morris and lean right over the counter, make some small talk, and then ask him for Saturday off. I'll guarantee you he says yes!"

"God," Abby moved uncomfortably in her top, "I feel like such a whore doing this!"

"Yer well," Ray spun Abby in the direction of Morris, slapped her ass and gently pushed her towards the reception area, "that's cause you kinda are!"

Abby gave him the evils, before strolling off to see Morris, "Hey Morris," She leaned really far over the counter, "Whatcha doing?"

"Sorting some stuff," he looked up and his eyes bulged, "that's err...that's a...nice top you got there,"

Abby had to stop herself from laughing at the way Morris so blatantly stared and the way he stuttered nervously. "So Morris, up to anything on the weekend?"

"Nope, just err...work...err...yer...lots of work,"

"Well listen Morris," Abby said in her most seductive voice, "could you give me something?"

Morris seemed to choke a bit, on his own words and so all he managed to get out was, "Anything!"

"Great, could you give me Saturday night off?"

Morris seemed a little distracted by Abby's...top, when he answered, "Yer sure!"

"Morris," Abby obviously faked being shocked and covered up her cleavage with her hand, then she leaned in to whisper in his ear, "this is neither the time nor the place!"

Morris looked completely shocked. "But...err...aren't you...err...you know...going out with Ray?"

"Sure," she smiled at Morris and winked, before walking off.

* * *

(Saturday)

"So, Ray's band are actually quite good," admitted Neela, as she downed another Malibu and coke.

"You know you might want to leave off the Malibu's for a bit,"

"And why would I want to do that?"

"Cause otherwise you gonna puke, and if you don't puke you'll have one hell of a hangover tomorrow!"

"But it's free! Free! Why is practically insulting to Ray not to take advantage of the fact that he got us free drinks! Free! Free! Free!" Neela got slightly over excited about the concept of the drinks being free, and ended up falling of her stool.

"Come on Neela," Abby lifted her back onto her stool, "Lets not get too excited!"

"hmm," was all Neela managed before slumping onto the bar, dead to the world.

"Great, I bring someone to keep me company, and she goes and passes out on me!"

Ray song finished and he step up to the mike.

"Now, she's probably gonna get pissed off with me for this, but I wrote this song, for the women I love, and, I'd like to dedicate it as our last song to her!"

Ray started to play again, it was a soft slow song, just watching him, playing his guitar, it was so, mesmerizing. It was the sweetest thing he had ever done for her. She smiled to herself as she listen to him play. Then she felt something touch her softly on the shoulder, she turned around...

* * *

When the song was finished, Ray said his goodbyes, thanked everyone for coming and went off to find Abby.

"Abby!" he called for her as he pushed his way to the bar, "Abby!"

He saw Neela slumped over the bar. "Neela!" he lifted her head up, "Neela where's Abby?" It was then Ray realized she was out cold. He spun round, but then something caught his eye, the emergency exit door was slightly ajar.

"Dobbs!" Ray called to the barman, who was startled as Ray awoke him form his sleep, "just watch over this one for me for a sec, would you?" he motioned towards Neela.

Dobbs nodded, and went back to sleep.

* * *

Ray carefully opened the door, and peeked out into the alley. Further down he could make out a guy, quite big and tough, Caucasian with very short hair, and lots of tattoos. He was pressing Abby up against a wall, with a knife to her neck, she was struggling to get out of his grip, but he was too strong.

Ray creped up behind him slowly, he could her Abby pleading to the guy, she obviously hadn't noticed Ray, "Get off me," she whimpered, "please, just leave me alone!"

Ray moved out of the shadows and grabbed the man by his arms completely taking him for surprise. "Abby run!" he yelled.

There was quite a struggle; the knife gleamed in the streetlights as it came dangerously close to both men. Eventually the man broke free and spun round so fast, slicing Ray on his shoulder. Blood gushed to the surface, spewing all over Ray's t-shirt. Ray staggered back clutching his shoulder.

Ray saw the man coming back, charging at him. At the last moment Ray dipped his right shoulder straight into the guy gut, winding him and causing him to fall back onto the ground. Ray, the pain from his shoulder forgotten, quickly leaped onto of the man and grabbed the knife. He lifted his fists and punched him in the face over and over again, screaming "Never, ever, ever touch my girlfriend ever again, cause next time, I swear to god I kill you!"

Finally Ray delivered the last blow. The man didn't move, he was perfectly still. Ray checked his pulse; he was still alive, and proven by the soft rising and falling of his chest, still breathing, probably just unconscious.

For once, Ray was finally able to look around, check Abby got away. He saw her standing by the exit, with Dobbs. "Don't worry bout it Ray, I called 'er cops!" he called to Ray, in his thick Boston accent.

* * *

In a few minutes, the usually quiet alleyway was buzzing with activity.

"Your hurt," Abby commented, "you should really let them take you to the hospital, that cuts quite deep."

Ray smiled jokingly, "Ay, ay, a scratch, a scratch, marry, t'is enough"

"Are you quoting Shakespeare?"

Ray smiled "Romeo and Juliet, to be precise. It's my favorite book."

"Really? I never imagined you to like Shakespeare!"

Ray shrugged.

"But really Ray," she looked more serious now, "You could've died!"

"My life were better ended by their hate, than death proroguéd, wanting of thy love."

She slapped his arm playfully, "you're just showing off now!"

"Come on," He wrapped his jacket round her, "Let's go home."

* * *

The journey home was fairly quiet.

When they arrived in their apartment, Ray moved to hug Abby, but she stepped back. Her face was paler now, like it was before the police had turned up. "Look, thanks for everything and all, but I'm really tired, you know, and tonight was quite an shock for me, so you no I'm just gonna go to bed, alone. Why don't you go sleep in the spare room?"

Ray understood why she wanted to be alone, but didn't want to go sleep in Neela's old room. It gave him the creeps; Ray was the kinda guy who crashed on people sofas, not the type to crash in peoples spare rooms. It seemed almost too good for him, hence why he had always slept on the sofa. Ray got out his blanket and lay on the sofa. He knew he wouldn't sleep, not only cause of what had happened that evening, but because his shoulder was really hurting. But he'd rather live with the pain than have Abby notice him getting some painkillers!

* * *

When Ray woke up, he had finally got to sleep at about 5am, Abby was sitting on the end of the sofa. "What time is it?"

Abby was startled that he was awake, "12, we gotta be on in a few hours,"

Ray nodded. "Are you sure you wanna go to work today?"

"Listen Ray, I'm sorry about yesterday, I was kinda harsh. After all, you had just saved me."

"Its okay," Ray shrugged "I understand."

There was a silence, not awkward, more comforting.

"How's your arm?"

Ray shrugged, "Kay I guess,"

More silence.

"How do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Shrug it all off, whenever you have a problem you just shrug and that's it, you don't think about it anymore."

"_Abby," he moved closer to her, "this is gonna sound strange but, its cause I'm not as brave as you. Rather than face my problem head on, I shrug and just pretend like I don't have problems."_

Well, at least that was what he had wanted to say, it came out as a "Mmuuh, I guess I just do,"

Abby stared out of the window to the streets below. More silence.

"Its okay," he took her hand, "We can get through this, together."

Abby smiled. "I'd like that."

**I like the idea of Ray's favorite book being Romeo and Juliet, when I wrote that bit about Abby saying, 'are you hurt' the first thing I though of was when Mercutio says that bit bout'a scratch, a scratch,'in Romeo and Juliet and the whole Shakespeare thing seemed to evolve from their! I'm not quite sure which chapter I will use for the next one, but it is very likely it will take place a couple of months after this one. **


	15. Fun While It Lasted

**Title: Never Let Your Guard Down.**

**Author: Simple Plan Rulz**

**Rating: T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own ER etc etc**

**So I dunno if its been in the news but there was this big oil explosion in Hemel Hempstead, in England which is only a few towns away from my village. So yer, the sky is black! But as my skool which is well close to Hemel has been closed 4 today! YAY! So that gives me time to write a new chapter as I'm not supposed to go outside (cause of the fumes) so im free to stay inside and write! **

**Author's notes on the chapter: So I was gonna write this chapter today that takes place around Valentine's Day. But I thought that was a bit rubbish seeing as how its no where near valentines day! So I'm kinda bored cause I'm sitting here in my house alone so I'm doin the most silly things to amuse myself, when I came up with this chapter. Abby, Ray, Susan, a few nurses (and a sleeping drunk) are on the night shift and there really bored as nothing is happening!**

**Oh yer, apologies are needed because, as I live in England my stories are still set in season 11 as I dunno wats happening in season 12 so they might seem a bit behind! When season 12 arrives in England I'll start to write it in season 12, but Carter and Susan will still be in it because there cool characters and I like them.**

**Here's chapter 15, thanks for all the reviews, keep em coming!**

**Chapter 15: Fun While It Lasted**

_Today_

_I changed_

_To late cause everyone_

_Stayed the same_

_I'm gone_

_So long_

_Break out _

_Cause I'm better off_

_On my own_

_Stuck in America!_

Stuck by Sugercult, blasted round the corridors off the hospital as Dr Ray Barnett ran around with a rubber glove on his head, like a hat.

"Abby!" he called out, "Abby!"

He rammed open all the doors to each room and he shot passed, "Abby, face it, you can't hide forever, I'm gonna find you eventually!"

Eventually he reached the lift and pushed the button, the doors opened. Inside was Dr Lockhart, who was also wearing glove hat. "Dammit!" she shouted.

"Yer that's the problem with hiding in the lift, your kinda stuck in it!"

"Oh well, it's your turn to hide."

"Don't you two think its a bit juvenile playing hide and seek? And are the gloves really necessary?" Susan appeared round the corner.

"Don't talk to me about juvenile, Carter's told me about all the little tricks you and Mark used to play on him. Like the time you put a cast on his leg while he was sleeping!"

"Yes, but that was a stroke of pure genius and it was hilariously funny. Rubber chicken hats," she pulled it off Ray's head, "are just plain childish!"

"Come on Susan," Ray put the glove on Susan's head, "get into the spirit!"

"Fine, but can we not play hide and seek?"

"Sure, but you'll have to think of another game." Abby added.

"Fine," Susan went into the nearest room and picked up a pillow, whilst American Idiot by Green Day started to blare over intercom. Susan calmly walked out off the room and hit Abby round the back of the head with the pillow.

"Oh, its on!" Abby and Ray shouted and ran off to get there own pillows.

Soon the hospital corridors turned to chaos as the three doctors charged around the hospital, feathers where flying everywhere, carts were knocked over as they teared past the peaceful corridors.

As the song came to the big guitar solo Ray noticed a swivel chair placed at the beginning of a long corridor. Abby went to hit Ray on the head, but missed as he jumped for the chair, he came crashing down onto the chair and it sped off down the corridor.

Abby and Susan both cheered at Ray's 'chair surfing' until he reached the end of the corridor and he chair came toppling over with a crash.

There was a deadly silence, the song had stopped playing and neither of the two girls spoke. Eventually Ray's head popped up from under the wreckage, "I'm okay," he shouted and the girls sighed with relieve.

Next the three set up a sort of 'pin the tail on the donkey' type thing. You would spin the blindfolded person round on the chair and then they would have to put the glove hat on the head of the sleeping drunk. But none of them had managed to do this successfully, so the game turned into a 'race the drunk round the hospital on the swivel chair!'

They would crash into all the walls as they raced around knocking over everything that had not already been knocked over. Then Abby came up with a brilliant idea, 'drunk curling'. Ray and Susan got out the mops and set up a cone, the objective was to push the drunk just hard enough to knock over the cone but not to go over the 'line', the other to would mop the floor in order to 'reduce friction'!

Abby was probably the best at this, Ray would always push the drunk to hard and he would go flying off, Susan was always to soft with it but Abby would push it at just the right speed.

"Ray," Susan shouted at him when it was her turn, "your mopping too fast!"

"Whatever," Ray shouted back.

"Uh, don't you 'whatever' me Dr Barnett, you do realize you are talking to your superior..."

She stopped dead, as Ray had hit her with the wet mop.

She grabbed Abby's mop and slap Ray back.

"Mop fight!" Ray screamed. Mops flashed everywhere as Susan and Ray hit each other over and over again, with mops. Water was going everywhere and everything was getting soaked. Abby disappeared and then came back with a small child's water pistol. She had been to the toy store across the street and bought it. She squirted Ray on the back and he immediately spun round, to see Abby. He charged straight at her with the mop, soaking her.

Mops and the water gun changed hands as the fight got more and more heated. Ray would push Abby through the water on the chair as this seemed to cause it to accelerate to higher speeds, of coarse it also caused the wheels to get a bit water clogged so they would jam up every now and again causing the two of them to topple over.

Even the nurses joined in as the small mop fight turned into a full scale hospital war. Anything that could be used, was used; mops, water pistols, phones, toilet paper, charts, board pens, pizza boxes everything. County general hospital was now well and truly trashed.

As the Nurses, Ray and Abby came charging round the corner mops poised ready to attack Susan, they found the charge come to a grounding halt as they appeared to run into something, or someone. Abby fell off the chair.

Weaver.

"What, in heavens name, is going on here?"

She didn't even give them a chance to reply.

"Have you seen the state of this hospital, TRASHED!" she spat, "Trashed! You are supposed to be respectable Doctor's and Nurses, not children! Dr Barnett take that glove off your head! Now all of you, get cleaning this mess up!"

They all began to obey, when Susan jumped round the corner, water pistol in hand.

"Gotcha!" Of course, Susan then realized to her horror, she had just got water all over Kerry Weaver. Her boss. This did not look good.

"SUSAN!" Weaver yelled at the top of her voice.

Ray and Abby glanced at each other, 'oh well,' they shrugged; it had been fun while it lasted.

**I think it was important to have a happy care free chapter, and I dunno if you realized but I was a bit hyper wen I wrote this! But it has some good SusanRayAbby bonding! Oh well, the next chapter, which I'll probably write during the Christmas hols as I don't have much time at the moment, will probably be Christmas themed! I'm thinking a County General Nativity play! But who would be the virgin mary...**


	16. Christmas Miracle

**Title: Never Let Your Guard Down.**

**Author: Simple Plan Rulz**

**Rating: T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own ER etc etc**

**Author's notes on the chapter: So I thought I should do something Christmassy for Christmas. I came up with this idea for a nativity play for the doctors of ER and this is how it turned out. The character of father Jacobs is actually based on the minister of my church!**

**Chapter 16: Christmas Miracle**

"Gather round," Dr Weaver motioned to all the doctors in the reception, "Everyone gather round."

They all slowly moved to stand near their boss.

"Now St Mary's church, just down the road, have given us a lot of money this year and now they thought it would be a nice idea if a few doctors and nurses could be in the nativity play this year. So those who are working on Christmas Eve are off the hook, the rest of you better turn up for rehearsals tomorrow."

Everyone moaned.

"What?" Dr Kovac protested, "Can't you just tell them we're busy saving people?"

"No, they give us money and if we do this they will give us more money, do you understand."

They all shrugged and strolled off.

* * *

"Excellent, welcome! I'm Gloria!" A short woman, with short ginger hair and an interestingly bizarre hat welcomed them in.

"Yes, yes," she nodded, looking at them all, "You," she pulled Susan out from the rest of the crowd, "you will make a perfect Angel Gabrielle,"

She dragged her off and made her stand on the stage.

She then grabbed Carter and Abby, "Oh yes, look at you two, you make a perfect couple, you were born to play Mary and Joseph."

Ray stood and watched as Abby and Carter where dragged off to go sit in front of the manger, with Susan behind them.

"And you," She grabbed Kovac and gave him a flirty smile, "You where meant to play a wise man,"

"And you," she grabbed Pratt, "And you," she grabbed one of the male nurses.

They were also then dragged to the stage and placed at the side of the manger.

"hmm," you two will do for angels, she grabbed two nurses and stood them either side of Susan.

"And finally," she grabbed one of the surgeons and one of the cleaners, "you two will make excellent shepards,"

They where placed the other side of Carter and Abby.

"Great, lets get started," she clapped her hands together.

"Erm, 'scuse me but, you forgot me,"

She turned around to look at Ray, she then gave him this disgusting look as though he was a piece of dog shit she'd just stepped on.

"Oh yes. Hmm, well..."

"No offense Carter, but I kinda had my sights set on Joseph."

"Hah!" she cackled, "You! Joseph! Please, look at those two, its like they were meant to be together, a girl like that would never end up with a riff raff like you. You can play...the innkeeper."

"Great," Ray muttered under his breath.

* * *

After the rehearsal, Carter caught up with Ray, "listen, I hope it's not gonna be awkward, you know, me being with Abby and all...well...I mean me and Abby being together in the play."

"Nah," Ray shook his head and slapped Carters shoulder, "it's cool,"

There was no way, Ray was gonna admit how pissed off he was by this to Carter.

"Cool," Cater nodded, and ran off.

* * *

A few days later and it was another rehearsal and Ray and Abby where talking.

"You know this is so crap, forcing us to do this crap play and I end up with a crap part, you know its all just so crap!"

Abby shook her head, "I dunno, I like the play and besides you part wouldn't be so crap if you didn't purposefully hate every minute of it."

"Oh and let me guess Carter just loves his part, its amazing the way he plays its, his acting is fab, the way he acts like he's so in love with you, you might think, I dunno, that he's actually in love with you!" Ray burst out in rage.

"Oh Ray," she shook her head, "Carters never done anything to you, why do you always have to be so hating?" She strolled off before he even had time to reply.

* * *

Ray sat in the pews, watching the others rehearse. He only had two lines and was only on stage very briefly so he spent most of his time waiting during rehearsals.

"You know, don't tell anyone I said this but the innkeeper is personally my favorite part."

Ray turned to see the stranger who was talking to him, it was an old man.

"Who are you?"

"Father Jacobs," the man grinned and held out his hand.

"Well that very nice of you Father," Ray shook his hand, "But you don't have to pretend to like my part just to make me feel better."

"I'm not just trying to make you feel better, I truly like the part of the innkeeper. Because, well you see, the innkeeper has no room in his inn and yet he still makes room for this holy baby. And that, in essence is what Christmas is all about, making room in our lives to spend time with the people we love and making room for the holy Christ to be part of our lives, to save us from our sins." He paused to look at Ray, "Do you understand?"

Ray nodded.

"You see Christmas wouldn't exist, Christ wouldn't exist if the innkeeper hadn't found somewhere for Mary to rest and have her baby. You can have all the angels and wise men and shepards you want until you're blue in face, but none of it would have been possible without the innkeeper."

Ray smiled "Thank you,"

"And I wouldn't worry about your girl if I was you," he motioned to Abby, "She may make the perfect couple with that other man, but she doesn't want perfect, she wants you."

"But Gloria said..."

"Gloria says a lot of things, most of which is absolute rubbish, she's a bit eccentric, she doesn't the good in you, like me and like your girlfriend. She sees you, as well, as like a piece of dog feces on her shoe, if you don't mind me saying so."

Ray laughed at the formality of the Father.

"Well, I must be off," Father Jacobs stood up.

"It was real nice to meet you," Ray held out his hand.

The Father nodded and shook his hand, "May Christ be with you."

With that, he left.

* * *

On the night the play ran smoothly, Ray said his two lines with pride, because he understood why he was so important, even if only him and the Father, who was standing in the corner of the church smiling, knew why.

At the end of the play, Gloria after praising Abby and Carter and the rest of the cast for doing so well, went to talk to Ray.

"Thank you, young man," she smiled, "You still played your part well, even though you hated it,"

"I didn't hate it. Well I did at first but then Father Jacobs made me think again..."

She cut him off, "Father who?"

"Father Jacobs."

"My dear boy, there is no father Jacobs at this chapel."

"Sure there is he's just over there..." Ray pointed to the corner of the church, but the Father wasn't there. "Well, he was there..."

Gloria patted Ray on the shoulder and strolled off.

* * *

After almost everyone had left, Ray went over to Abby.

"Listen, I'm sorry about having go at you over the whole Carter thing."

Abby shrugged, "its okay."

Ray put his arm round her. "I'm glad," he noticed how tired Abby looked "come on, let's go."

Abby nodded.

They where on there way out when a plump young man came rushing up to them, "Excuse me are you a doctor?"

"Yer, why?"

"It's my wife, I think she's having a baby!"

Ray and Abby followed the man to one of the back pews, where the man's wife was sitting, looking flushed.

"Listen sir, why don't you just take her to the hospital?"

"No," Ray shook his head at Abby "it's to late for that,"

"Please Ray, I don't have time for this, I'm tired!"

"Well I'll guess you'll have to make time," All of a sudden what the father said came back to Ray, "because that's what Christmas is all about, making space for others."

"What?" Abby looked confused.

"It what Father Jacobs was telling me."

Abby just stood there, she clearly didn't get it.

"What's your name?" Ray turned back to the women.

"Claire," she stammered.

"Okay Claire, I'm gonna look after you, there's no need to worry, I'm a doctor."

Ray turned to the man.

"Listen err..."

"Andy."

"Andy I need you to go me some towels okay?"

Andy nodded and ran off.

Abby just stood back as Ray delivered a beautiful baby boy.

Claire sat there hold him, beaming away at her baby, which she cradled in her arms.

"What are you gonna call him?" Ray asked.

"Jesus," Claire pointed to the clock; it was 1am, "because he's my Christmas miracle."

Ray smiled, "Come on, we have to get you to the hospital, get you checked out, make sure you and you baby are okay."

Claire nodded as her husband helped her get up.

They turned to Ray, "Excuse me but what's your name?"

"Dr Ray Barnett."

"Ray," the woman nodded, "Jesus Ray Jacobs, I like it."

"Jacobs?" Ray enquired, "your names Jacobs?"

Claire nodded and walk off out the church.

Ray looked under one of the small archways at the back of the church and there, once again, was Father Jacobs. He was smiling back at Ray.

"Look, Abby," he turned around to her," there's the man I was telling you about."

He turned back and Father Jacobs was gone.

"What?" Abby walked over to Ray.

"Never mind," he shook his head.

And they strolled off together, into the night.

**I thought that was quite a cute way to end a cute chapter. I'm off on holiday soon for a week to Scotland so I probs won't be able to update for a while!**


	17. Do You Know?

**Title: Never Let Your Guard Down.**

**Author: Simple Plan Rulz**

**Rating: T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own ER etc etc**

**Author's notes on the chapter: So I have a day off today cause of my exams so I thought I would update and I know it's a bit short but hey. oh and the song written in this chapter is actually something I wrote whilst pretending to revise for chemistry, I apologize for its crapness, im sure ray would write something much better, but oh well.**

**ER has finally started in England! Yay! So this takes place just after 'nobody's baby'.  
**

**Chapter 17:**

"Where is it?" Abby searched frantically through all her draws for one of her tops. She was going to meet Ray at this posh restaurant for dinner and she had really hoped to wear this top but she couldn't find it. She ripped open one of the draws, but it was Ray's, her top wouldn't be in there, or at least she hoped it wouldn't be.

"What's this?" she picked a crumpled piece of paper and unfolded it. It was a song ray had written. It had some chords by the words and it read:

_So do you know,  
__What its like to be like me?  
__Do you know,  
__That I wish I could be free?_

_And do you know,  
__How I feel inside?  
__Do you know,  
__How many times I've lied?_

_No I guess you don't know,  
__How I feel,  
__No I guess you don't know,  
__My love is real,  
__No I guess you don't know,  
__Don't know me._

_So do you know,  
__That I wish you understood?  
__But I guess I know,  
__That you never could._

_And do you know,  
__That my heart has almost died?  
__That I need you,  
__To bring me back to life._

_No I guess you don't know,  
__How I feel,  
__No I guess you don't know,  
__My love is real,  
__No I guess you don't know,  
__Don't know me._

_And I know,  
__That I should just turn away,  
__And I know,  
__I just can't live this way._

_And you should know,  
__How I wish you could be near me,  
__And you should know,  
__You're the only one who can set me free._

_No I guess you don't know,  
__How I feel,  
__No I guess you don't know,  
__My love is real,  
__No I guess you don't know,  
__You don't know me._

She couldn't believe it, how dare Ray say she didn't know him or understand him! And how dare he write that he can't live this way! What's wrong with the way they were living? Surely if he had a problem Ray would've talked to her about it?

Maybe the song wasn't about her? Maybe she was just over reacting? But if it wasn't about her, then who was it about? Who, other than her, did he love?

She needed answers. On the floor, just poking out from underneath her bed she saw the top she was looking for. "There you are," she grabbed it, put it on, stuff Ray's song into her pocket and ran off to the restaurant.

* * *

"So," Ray smiled at her, they had met outside the restaurant and had just finished ordering. 

"What?" Abby smiled back.

"How was your day?"

"Okay mostly, how bout you?"

"Yer fine, I guess, part from, you know,"

"Know what?" Abby pressed; perhaps this had something to do with the song.

"You know the baby, the one I was telling you about earlier,"

"Oh yer," Abby was disappointed, she had hoped Ray would explain what was bothering him, why he wrote the song, "it's a shame, what happened."

"If only she'd just had a c-section!" Ray shook his head and looked away.

Abby nodded, "Well, have you heard about Luka and Sam?"

"Yer, I can't believe it, things seemed to be going well for them."

"Ray they've been going to couple therapy, or whatever it's called, for a while now."

"Really?"

"God," she shook her head "Men don't notice anything!"

"What?" Ray shrugged.

Abby just shook her head. "But your okay, you know about us?"

Ray smiled, "Never happier,"

Abby pressed harder, "Really Ray, if you have any problems we can talk about it."

"No I'm serious, I love you Abby and you make me so happy,"

Abby was beginning to get frantic, why wouldn't he tell her? "Do you think I don't love you back, because you know I do, I love you Ray."

Ray gave her a weird look, "Why wouldn't I think you love me?"

"Well its just," Abby produced the paper form her pocket, "I found this."

Ray opened it and read it, "Oh, I was wondering where I put this."

"So you know if you wanna talk bout it..."

Ray cut her of, "I wrote this, before we got together, before we where even friends, back when you thought I hated you."

"Oh," Abby felt bad, she had made him feel like this? She began to explain, really quickly, "look, I'm really sorry I never really gave you a chance, I mean you're a really good guy and I guess I just didn't see that and then there was all the stuff about your dad, I didn't know, not that that changed my opinion of you, well it did but, I don't love you just because I feel bad about your dad and..."

Ray took her hand, "its okay, calm down." He smiled at her, "I mean, we got together in the end."

She nodded. "Was that really how you felt,"

He nodded, "I went through some pretty bad times, I liked you so bad, and the fact that you didn't like me, it was breaking me inside, I was dieing, not physically, but you know, mentally."

She nodded, "Its okay,"

She smiled at him, "I love you,"

He smiled back, "I love you to."

**So that's it, Im not sure what I will do next, I presume it will be the valentines day chapter! **


	18. Memebering Day

**Title: Never Let Your Guard Down.**

**Author: Simple Plan Rulz**

**Rating: T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own ER etc etc**

**Authors notes on chapter: So I have been really busy lately with a bunch of crap from school, mostly. Also I went to a simple plan concert on the 11th of feb and it was soooo amazing. So I have been planning 2 do this chapter 4 a while but I thought I would wait until valentines day so it would be more applicable. I've only got up to 'Dream House' on the actual show and all that seems to be happening atm for ray is that he has been with a 14 year old 'hilery duff with an STD'! I love that quote. But I obviously don't know bout wats happenin in America atm so don't have a go at me if I make something happen that goes majorly against the show. **

**Oh and btw in this Luka and Sam have broken up and are currently both single. And Susan never left. And neither did Carter, but Clemente is around too, just 2 mess things up completely. And gallant is still in iraq, but he is goin out wif neela still. Also is Eve married? I hope not as in this she is single as we don't know in England yet.**

**Thanks for all the reviews, keep em coming.**

**Chapter 18: Membring Day**

"Soo," Abby sat down on the sofa next to Ray, "Are you looking forward to tomorrow?"

"Of course," Ray smiled and put his arm around Abby. This struck Abby as slightly weird, it was just the way he put his arm round her in such awkward way, and the way he said 'of course' so fakely. It just seemed like he had no idea about what there was about tomorrow to look forward to.

"So what did you get me?" Abby asked, "Come on, tell me! The suspense is killing me."

"I got you…err…I got you a…err,"

"Ray!" Abby exploded, "Do you even know what day it is tomorrow?"

Ray looked up at her, he was slightly hurt, "Abby listen.."

"Oh my god, you jackass," she picked up a pillow and chucked at him, "you forgot Valentines Day!"

Ray looked lost in thought, he seemed confused and afraid, of course Abby mistook this and thought he had forgotten all about the 14th of February, but actually, it was quite the opposite, Ray would never forget that day, but not for the reasons you would think. Of course, if Abby had looked closer she might have noticed this. But she didn't. Actually, she just stormed out of the apartment and went of to work. She didn't even give time for Ray to explain.

* * *

Abby slammed her bag into her locker, "Wooh, calm down," Susan said from behind Abby.

"It's just Ray,"

"Ooo," Susan seemed excited, "what happened?"

"He forgot Valentines Day!"

Susan shrugged, "Chuck forgets every year, you gotta put up little post it notes to remind them."

"You know we shouldn't have to put up with this behavior."

"What behavior?" Neela asked as she walked into the staff room.

"Ray forgot valentines day!" Abby explained.

"As did Chuck," Susan added.

"Well Gallant sent a letter, but it still kinda sucks that he's in Iraq."

The girls nodded.

Suddenly a bright idea came to Abby, "I know! We should have a get together on Valentines Day!"

"Yer, that be good!" Neela commented.

"I don't think Chuck will be too happy, but screw him!" Susan added.

"We can have it at my place," Abby told them, "I'll just have to get rid of Ray."

"Sounds good to me!" Susan laughed.

"What going on in here?" Sam asked as she strolled in.

"We're planning like a valentines day get together, wanna come?" Abby asked.

"Sure, I'll get a sitter for Alex." Sam smiled, "just don't let Eve get wind of this or she'll try and invite herself, I heard her moaning earlier about how she had nothing to do for Valentines Day!"

The girls all laughed.

* * *

"Hey Ray!" Abby ran over to Ray.

"Great Abby listen..." Ray was about to explain, but Abby cut him off.

"Save it. I'm having the girls round for an anti-valentines day…thing, and so you need to not be home tonight okay? Neela says you can still go back and stay in your old apartment if you want."

Ray nodded, "But listen there's something really important I need to tell you."

"Look Ray, there no point trying to save yourself, I know you forgot Valentines Day." Abby said, and stormed off.

Ray shrugged, if she didn't want to know, then he wouldn't bother anymore.

* * *

"See, we don't need men," Abby said, smiling as she handed everyone more popcorn, they had ordered the film 'down with love' as it seemed appropriate for their evening. They had got about half way through.

"I dunno, I have a horrible feeling, Rene Zellwegger is gonna end up with Ewan McGregor by the end of the film."

"Yer, but if they call a film down with love, its gotta be anti-love right?" Sam questioned.

"Well that's what you would think, but that not the way things seem to be going." Neela added.

"I say we ditch it, this romantic comedy crap bores the hell outta me anyway," Susan declared.

The girls laughed.

Abby nodded her head, "So what are we gonna do?"

Susan was fiddling with her ring when she dropped it on the floor by accident, it rolled underneath the sofa. She went to go pick it up, "Eeew gross,"

"What?" Neela asked.

"Abby, you do know you have a moldy cookie under here don't you?"

Abby nodded, "I thought I told Ray to throw that away!" She took it form Susan and threw it in the bin.

Susan lifted her head from underneath the sofa, "Check this out!" She picked up a pack of cards, "we should play cards!"

"No, no, we can't play with those cards!" Abby grabbed them from Susan.

"Why not?" Susan asked, she was curious now; there was a story behind this.

Abby looked away, "never mind," she wasn't going to tell Susan about this.

"There like your and Ray's sex cards or something aren't they!"

"NO!" Abby realized she was gonna have to tell them, "it's just this one time me and Ray were pissing about and we played strip poker and well, that kinda how we first got together."

The girls all started to laugh. "Typical Ray," Neela added.

* * *

The party went well, it was a good evening and it proved Abby point.

"See ya," Susan waved as she left. She was the last of them. Slowly Abby began to gather up the last remains of the party, Susan had insisted on helping her clear up but in the end even she had got bored and decided to go home.

It was 3am and Abby was beginning to wonder where Ray was. She had told him to make his own plans for the evening, but she had still expected him to come back. It was almost beginning to worry her. _There's no need to worry_ she thought _he probably just at a real late night party._

Abby was suddenly snapped back into reality as the phone started to ring.

"Hey its Brett," Abby smiled, it was one of Ray's friends, this meant he must be there.

"Hey,"

"Look I hope I wasn't interrupting anything, but could you tell Ray he left his phone."

"I'm sorry what?" Abby was very confused, "what would you be interrupting?"

"You know, you and Ray, getting it on, he left in such a rush I knew that's what he was going to do."

"Wait, start from the beginning. So Ray's at a party at your house, but he's left?"

"Yer, he pulled a Cinderella on me and dashed out at midnight mumbling something or other, I just assumed he was late getting back to the missus. Why is he not there?"

"No."

"Oh," Brett seemed to be thinking, "maybe he stopped off to buy you something nice on the way, like flowers or something."

"I hate flowers."

"Oh…well maybe chocolate then?"

"Maybe, but what if he didn't? What do you thinks happen?"

"Like I said Lady, I got no idea."

"So you have no idea where he is and I have no idea where he is. So I've like, lost him!"

"Calm down, he's a big boy, I'm sure he'll be fine." Brett paused, "Actually he seems to have a bit of a habit of going awol around Valentines Day. Every year we seem to lose him, probably off with some girl."

"Oh cheers Brett, that very comforting, good to know you think so highly of your friend."

"Whatever, look I got to go, I've got a lady waiting upstairs for me, so when you find Ray, tell him he left his phone, will ya?"

"Yer sure,"

"Thanks bye"

"Bye"

Abby put down the phone and collapsed onto the sofa. This was so not like Ray. He totally hadn't made a fuss over the big Anti-Valentines Day thing, he just accepted it. Well, he had tried to tell her something on many occasions but she had just assumed he was trying to make up excuses for why he didn't know it was Valentine's Day. Maybe he really did have something important to tell her. Abby put on her coat, she had no idea where she was going, but she knew she had to get out.

* * *

Abby strolled around the park that was only a few blocks from their apartment. She watched all the homeless people huddled on their benches, they looked so cold. But, there was something that stood out about a particular homeless person on the far bench. He was sitting upright and staring straight ahead, unlike the others who were all curled up and trying to get some sleep. He seemed to turn away from her every time she got near so she still couldn't get a good look at his face. There was just something about him.

She strolled over to him and sat down on the bench next to him, immediately realize what was so different about this guy, it was Ray.

"Ray, what are you doing here?"

He just stared into the distance.

"Ray," her voice filled with anger, "what is up with you?"

He turned to look at her his eyes were blood shod, his face pale and lifeless.

"Ray," Abby was shocked, "have you been doing drugs?"

Ray face turned from sadness, to anger and hurt.

"Ray please tell me what going on," Abby was desperate now.

"I tried," his voice was husky and cold.

"Ray please," she said, almost crying.

He put his hands to her face, "Don't cry, there's no crying on Membring day, only remembering."

Abby looked at him curiously.

"My mum, I told you before, that she died, well she died on Valentines Day. When I found out I was so angry and hurt I went out and I drank loads and I cried loads and I was just generally very emotional. But then, at midnight, I found myself in my local park and so I sat down on the bench and stayed there until midnight the next day, just thinking about my mum, you know remembering her. When I finally came home my aunt had a bit of a freak cause she was so worried about me. But it felt good, to just sit and think, and so I do it every year."

He paused. She put her head on his shoulder.

"I didn't think you'd understand, I thought you'd think I was crazy, so I didn't tell you. I'm sorry. I also, obviously forgot to tell you I don't celebrate Valentines Day, cause it just generally sucks for me."

Abby felt terrible. She had refused to talk with him about it and now he was apologizing for not telling her. "I'm sorry too, for just assuming you'd forgotten."

"It's okay," He smiled "Now I may not celebrate Valentine's Day. But, lucky for you, I do celebrate Membring Day."

He produced a dusty jewellery box from his pocket.

"You mean you did get me something?"

Ray nodded.

"When she died, my mum left me everything. And she had always to me about how much she loved these earrings and one day she had hoped that she would pass them down to her daughter-in-law. Now I know where not married." He chuckled, "but you will look so beautiful in these earrings."

She opened the box. They were beautiful purple and gold vintage earrings. "They're beautiful," she smiled.

"So what do you do on Membring day?" Abby asked.

"Well I remember all the good times me and my mother had when I was younger."

"But if I was to join you, what could I do?"

"Remember all the good times you had with someone you love." Ray smiled.

"Is it okay if I join you?"

"Of course," Ray smiled and stroked her hair.

Ray and Abby spent the rest of the 15th of February sitting on a bench, and the whole time Abby couldn't help but think that wherever she was Jane Barnett must be proud of her son.

**I dunno if you noticed this but I actually updated on 'Membring day' lol! I'll try and update as soon as possible but I am going away for a few days. **


	19. Luka vs Ray: Good vs Evil?

**Title: Never Let Your Guard Down.**

**Author: Simple Plan Rulz**

**Rating: T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own ER etc etc**

**Authors notes on the chapter: Although I originally wasn't going to manage to update this for a while, because I have loads of coursework and I'm going to California next week for the Easter hols (yay!) I managed to find some time, mainly because I really cannot be arsed with computer studies coursework and so I'm doing this instead. Oddly enough the first part of this chapter was inspired by a discussion between me and my friends during computer studies. **

**I must say a big thank you to Unconscious Regret for helping me come up with ideas for this chapter, and also for all her encouragement!**

**By the way, I'm only justwatched 'split decisions' so this may be a bit out of date for all you American ppl. I decided to have a bit of luby in this chapter, as like a tribute to the show!**

Chapter 19: Luka vs Ray: Right vs wrong?

"Me, Pratt, Luka, Morris or Clemente," Ray said as he sat down in front of Abby and Neela, at reception.

"Who out of those five would you sleep with, throw of a cliff or marry?"

Abby laughed, "What are you doing?"

Ray shrugged, "I dunno, its just this silly game this kid in 3 was telling me about, so come on, who?"

"Err, well I throw Morris off a cliff!"

Neela laughed "Harsh," she then paused to think, "but yer, I totally do that too!"

"And obviously," Abby smiled, "I'd marry you!"

"But who would you sleep with?" Ray asked.

"Well you!"

"No, no, it has to be someone else, like someone you would have a one night stand with!"

Abby was suspicious, he was clearly trying to check if he'd cheat on her, and who with, she was too good for these silly mind games, "But I'd be married to you, and I would never cheat on you," she said smiling, as that was the answer she thought he wanted to her.

"What?" Ray shook his head, "No, no, that's not what this is about, just say who you would sleep with!"

"Okay okay, fine," she stopped to think, "Luka."

"Knew it!" Ray yelled.

"Abby what's the problem?" Luka came striding over, obviously having heard Abby call his name.

Abby looked stunned, "Oh errr, I was wondering, err, what I should do with this patient?"

Abby gave him a random chart from the top of the pile.

Luka studied the chart, "Abby, the woman has a cold, just send her home." He gave Abby a weird look wondering why she was enquiring about a cold.

"Oh right," Abby nodded, "Yer, I just thought I'd check."

Ray burst into laughter.

"Do you have a problem, Dr Barnett?" Luka turned to look at Ray.

"No," Ray replied, as he bit his lip to stop himself from laughing.

"Good well then I suggest you get back to work," Luka turned to look all the three residents, "all of you."

* * *

"Abby," Luka called Abby into the staff room, "Abby can I talk with you for a sec?" 

"Sure," she strolled in.

"So listen what was up with you this morning?"

"Oh nothing it was just Ray being stupid."

"Oh," Luka seemed to contemplate this for a second, "so how are things with him anyway?"

"Strange," Abby sat down on the sofa next to Luka, "not like bad strange, just our relationship seems to be drifting along, like it's not much work."

Luka laughed.

"What?" Abby asked innocently, "after you and John, I've learned to expect relationships to be hard."

Luka shook his head, "We we're great though, weren't we?"

Abby nodded, "I suppose."

"But otherwise all is good?"

"Yer it's great, but it's all just so calm, too calm."

"You're worried something will go wrong." Luka finished off her sentence for her.

"Yer, basically."

Luka shook his head, "In life, there are good times and there are bad times, everyone knows that, but rather than worrying during the good times what's gonna happen to make it all go wrong, you should just enjoy it. Or you'll end up all old and bitter."

Abby laughed, "Oh how very philosophical of you!"

Luka smiled.

"And he just so young and vibrant, so full of energy!" Abby continued.

"And you're old and withered?" Luka added.

"Well yer," Abby laughed.

Luka shook his head, "No worries,"

"You sound like the warthog off the lion king!"

"Hukuna matata!" Luka laughed, "Well he was right you know."

Abby nodded, placing her head onto Luka's shoulder.

"You know, you and I should go out grab a beer" he paused, "I mean coffee, sometime, and you know catch up."

"Like AbbyLuka time," she snuggled up to him some more.

Luka laughed, "Yer, just like that."

Abby laughed, "Ray won't be to happy, even though he's always going out for drinks with a bunch of girls, the second I wanna have coffee with some guy, it like 'oh my god, you're cheating on me!' its so annoying."

Luka laughed, "He just doesn't want to lose you,"

"I know, I know," Abby began to fiddle with Luka's tie and Luka tilted his head so it was resting on top of Abby's. The two of the sat there silently bonding, until Ray walked in.

Luka snapped his head back upright, "Ray!"

"Oh…err…hey guys, what going on?" he was staring Abby, wondering what she was doing with Luka.

She sat up. "Hey Ray, me and Luka were just talking."

Ray nodded, "great," he whispered to himself as he walked out the room.

Abby shook her head, "Oh no. Off he goes, in a strop."

"Well, what would you have thought, if you walked in and seen him with some girl lying all over him?"

"I would have slapped her…and him, but besides, its totally different from that. And I was so not all over you!"

Luka shook his head, "Hows it different?"

"We're old friends!" Abby protested.

"Okay, okay, whatever you say." Luka sighed.

* * *

(A few days later) 

"So listen, I'm going out to get some coffee with Luka, that okay with you?" Abby asked Ray, who was sitting on the sofa of there apartment staring intensely at the TV, which was switched off, Ray did this whenever he was trying to think.

Ray turned to look at Abby, "You and Luka been spending a lot of time together lately,"

"That bother you?"

"Well yer."

"Well it shouldn't, it's just the same as if you and Neela went to go get coffee together!"

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I am, why don't you trust me?"

"Of course I do."

"Then why are you making this into such a big thing?"

"Why are you making this into such a big thing?"

The two stood there, staring straight into each others eyes.

Ray looked away, "Go." He whispered.

"What?"

"Go."

"Ray are you sure?"

"Yer. I mean its just Luka." He walked over to the window and stared out.

"Ray…" Abby followed after him, "what's up?"

"Well that's the thing though isn't it? It like Luka and Abby, like some couple from a TV show who are just so meant to be it makes you sick! And everybody always tells you, 'oh aren't that Luka and Abby such a good couple' or 'oh I'm so glad that Luka and Abby got back together' or 'oh aren't they just perfect for each other!'" he paused, "and it like Abby and Ray, is so odd, the couple that people go 'why on earth are they together? They weren't made for each other!' you know, that sorta thing."

"That's because people don't realise that sometimes it's the couples that weren't made for each other, who were meant to be."

Ray smiled.

"But you're right me and Luka would make a good couple," she laughed, "but you and me, we make a great couple."

Ray smiled and put his arms round her, "you think?"

"Yer I do, and besides who cares what people think, I mean I wanna be the minority, I don't need there authority, down with the morale majority cause I wanna be the minority!"

Ray laughed, "Abby, have you been listening to my Green Day CD's?"

Abby laughed, "Yer there good I like them. Why do you ask?"

"Well its just funny to hear you recite their songs!"

"Oh was it that noticeable?"

Ray laughed, "Yer, it was."

Ray started to kiss Abby, when all of a sudden Abby stepped back and looked at her watch, "oh shit, I'm gonna be late."

Ray grabbed hold of her arm, "Do you have to go?" he whined.

Abby nodded, "Fraid so, but when I get back, we can continue this!"

Ray laughed, "Good!"

And he watched Abby as she ran of down to the coffee house.


	20. Brothers

**Title: Never Let Your Guard Down.**

**Author: Simple Plan Rulz**

**Rating: T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own ER etc etc**

**Yer soz it took so long to update, I have like all these uber silly GCSE, at the mo which just get in the way of everythin, but here is my next chapter. Its something I've been thinking bout doin for a while now. I must thank Unconscious regret loads and loads cause she helped me so much with this chapter!**

**Chapter 20: Brothers**

Ray leaned back in his favourite chair and sighed. Today had not been his day, Abby was in a mood with him and Neela was getting all the best cases, whilst he was stuck with cold and headaches, and then that kid had been screaming in his ear, so he screamed back and then Sam had a go at him for 'terrorising' the children. Yes, today had not been a good day, so rather than get all worked up about it Ray decided to sit back in his favourite chair, perhaps sleep a little, and just generally relax.

"Trauma three, we need a doctor in trauma three."

"Where's Ray?"

Ray woke to the distant sound of Jerry's voice.

"Have you seen Ray? He's needed in trauma three!"

Ray, finally realising what was going on, sprang into action and raced through the corridor to trauma three.

"What going on?" He asked.

"Where we're you? Abby and Neela were need up in the OR, Morris and Pratt are stuck in another trauma, so you're the only doctor left.

"Right, so what's the problem?"

"Mother beaten by her husband, bp's 180 over 50," As soon as she had said it Sam realised it was the wrong thing to say.

Ray felt his head spin, like he was about to faint. He propped himself up on the crash cart. "Ray" Sam called to him, "Ray are you okay? Abby told me bout your dad…"

Ray just about managed to nod.

"I mean," Sam continued, "you don't mind do you? Its just well you're not normally like this, when we get a domestic violence case…"

Ray stumbled over the cables on the floor, "She looks like, she looks just like…my mum."

Sam nodded like she understood.

Ray took s deep breath, "I can do this, I can do this." He made his way slowly over to the table and took a look at her wounds, "I'm not weak, I'm not weak."

At that moment, Weaver strolled in, "I came as soon as could."

She looked at Ray, "What are you muttering about Dr Barnett? And why haven't you at least tried to intubate on her yet! She dieing!"

"I know, I know," Ray muttered, its just…"

"It's just what?" Weaver asked, frantically trying to save the women on the table, "This women is dieing, so stop being such a weakling and get over here!"

Suddenly something in Ray snapped, "I'M NOT WEAK," he screamed and slammed his fist down on the crash cart, and stormed out.

Behind him he heard Sam muttering to Weaver, explaining. He prayed a silent prayer that the women would be okay, if she died he knew it would be all his fault.

He looked around to see a young boy of about 13 sitting on the chairs outside the trauma room. He looked straight at the boy who was clutching an ice pack to his one eye, and clenching his fist around a cut in his other hand, which was dripping blood on the floor. The boy looked straight back at him, and in that second they both felt it, the terrible bond that binded them together.

"Erm, is she gonna be okay?" the boy spoke, almost not wanting to know the answer.

Ray sat down next to him and looked him in the eyes, "I honestly don't know."

The boy nodded, "I heard you know, what that lady said to you and how you like, shouted at her. I know how you feel, I hate it when people call me weak." He flicked back his dirty blonde hair, which clearly needed to be cut as it kept drooping down, covering his one eye. Although the boy was clearly at the awkward age of 13 he still retained a youthful face, but his slightly angular jaw gave him that air of maturity, and, unlike most 13 year olds, his face was relatively clear of spots. His eyes were a deep shade of green that bore into Ray, showing his inner sadness.

"I'm Sam, by the way."

Ray nodded, "I'm Ray."

Ray was felling better already, his nausea from inside the trauma room had almost gone and he found it comforting to be sitting with Sam, someone who understood how he felt.

"Hey, you should probably bandage that up. May I take a look?" Ray pointed to the cut in Sam's right hand.

"Yer sure," he slowly unravelled his hand to reveal a short, but deep cut.

Ray sighed, "I think your probably gonna have to get stitches on that, its pretty deep."

"Ah man," the boy sighed, "how long until I can play my guitar again?"

"You play guitar?"

"Yer, but my old man thinks it's a waste of my time."

Ray laughed, "yer my dad thought that too."

"You play guitar?"

"Yer," Ray nodded, and added casually "I'm in band,"

"Wicked!" Sam laughed, enjoying Ray's company.

Ray had almost finished stitching up the boy's hand, when Sam walked in, she looked serious, "Ray, can I see you outside please."

"Okay, in a sec," he motioned to the boy, "Sam, this is Sam,"

Sam and Sam laughed over the confusion of their names.

"I'll be back in a sec okay," he told the boy and walked out of the room.

"What's up?" Ray asked.

"It's the women," Sam touched him lightly on his arm, "I know you're gonna think this is all your fault but there was nothing you could do, her wounds where too extensive."

Ray nodded, "She died didn't she?"

"Yer" Sam looked through the window and the young boy sitting on the bed, "Do you want me to tell him?"

"Nah, its okay, I should do it."

She held his hand, "you sure you gonna be okay?"

Ray nodded and went back into the room. Somewhere further down the corridor, Abby Lockhart had just returned from the OR looking tired and stressed only to watch Ray, apparently, flirting with Sam. It seemed extremely odd, because it had always been apparent to her that Sam had thought very little of Ray, but then, this…

"Abby are you okay?" Abby looked up, Sam was talking to her.

"Oh yer, I'm fine,"

Sam nodded and walked on.

"So," Ray said, as he sat down next to Sam, and went back to stitching his hand, "I have some bad news,"

Sam turned away, "She's dead, isn't she?"

Ray nodded.

Sam straight at Ray, his deep green eyes staring right through him, "You're dad beat you too, didn't he."

Ray nodded, "yer,"

"What's it like to be free?"

Ray shook his head, "Honestly, you're never free,"

"What you mean he still comes after you?"

"No, no, I mean you'll never forget it."

Sam nodded.

"You know, one day, when I was bout your age, my dad came home, stinking drunk, and started beaten on my mum, I thought I was big enough and old enough to take him so I told him to leave her alone," Ray shook his head, "bad idea, he was like twice my size and as mad as anything," he paused the horrible memory replaying in his head, "so, anyway, end result is, he ends up chucking me down the stairs and I get off lightly cause I only break my arm." Sam winced, he clearly knew what this was like, " so me dad took me to hospital, saying I fell down the stairs, but my doctor, he knew different, he knew what had really happened before I'd even told him, cause it had happened to him too. Course he didn't have enough evidence to get my dad locked up."

Sam shook his head, "I don't understand how this is gonna cheer me up."

"Hang on," Ray laughed, "nothing I say is gonna cheer you up, I just thought you'd appreciate the story." Ray continued, "So then cause my arm was badly hurt I had to have surgery, and this doctor, he was totally cool, cause not only was he a doctor, but he was in a band too, and he has this way cool chain round his neck, which he'd let me wear for the day. Now, just before the surgery, he came up to me asking me how I felt, and I admitted to him that I was scared, and he told me, that I just had to be brave, I just had to get through it, cause no one could take my pain away, it was just a matter of learning to let go. And I knew, he didn't just mean bout the surgery, but about my dad to." Ray sighed and fiddled with the chain hanging from his neck, "after that, he let me keep the chain and from that day forward I knew that one day, I was gonna be just like that guy, I was gonna be a doctor and play guitar in a band, and I knew, one day I would get a kid, just like myself, and I'd pass on the knowledge," Ray laughed, "so to speak."

Sam nodded, "that's a cool story,"

They sat in silence for a while.

"Listen," Ray spoke, "a child services lady is gonna be here soon, talking bout adoption and children's homes…"

"I'm not going to a children's home," Sam said plainly.

Ray nodded, and took Sam's good hand, placing the chain into it, "I know, but you are gonna have to be brave."

They smiled at each other, glad to have someone who understood them so well.

Ray was sitting at reception area, his head slumped over the desk, when suddenly someone grabbed him from behind and yanked his head backwards.

"Ray," its was Abby, this was the first time Ray had ever noticed how weird she look upside down, because the way she was frowning, made it look like she was smiling, which was something Abby rarely did, "is there anything you want to tell me?"

"There was this women, badly beaten by her husband, I panicked, she died, her kid is sad, its all my fault, not much to say really." Ray explained, all in one breath.

Abby sat down next to him and placed her hand on his arm, "I'm sure its not your fault," he nodded, "you sound like Sam,"

Abby, relieved that Sam was obviously just comforting him, pushed harder, "Ray, its not your fault, you just have to accept it."

Ray nodded. "You know I've been thinking about it though, and there something I can do, to make it better."

"You know, you don't have to make everything better."

"Yer, well I've grown really attached to this kid, and he deserves better, that why I think he should come live with us."

"LIVE WITH US!" Abby looked completely shocked, she hadn't expected he would suggest that, "What?"

"He's a real good guy," Ray explained, "and he doesn't deserve to go to a children's home, besides it would only be until we found some real good permanent parents for him."

"And what if we don't."

Ray shrugged, "then he'll just stay with us."

"Ray we live in an apartment, we're not even married and neither of us are, in any way, prepared for raising a 13 year old kid!"

"Well really he not 13 cause he's very mature, and I don't think he'd appreciate you calling him a kid, cause technically at thirteen he's actually a teenager…"

"Ray, I'm not talking to you like this, you clearly aren't thinking this through," she turned to leave, when Ray grabbed her on the arm.

"Please, just meet him."

Abby only had to be in a room with Ray and the boy, Sam, a few minutes before she knew exactly why Ray wanted to adopt Sam, the two of them they just clicked, where it not for the fact that they looked very different, Abby almost could have sworn that they were like brothers.

"I told the lady," Sam explained, "how cool my doctor was, how he understood so well. She was real nice bout it, said you sounded like a good person."

Ray smiled, "I'm glad she liked me."

"I told her I didn't want to go into a care home, but she said it was the only way, unless they found someone who would foster me until I got adopted, if I ever did," Sam looked at the floor.

Ray put his hand on Sam shoulder, "I'll see what I can do,"

He turned to Abby, who he had already introduced to Sam as his girlfriend.

"Abs can I talk to you outside for a sec," Ray smiled at Sam, "back soon," and left the room with Abby.

"So what do you think," Ray asked.

"I know why you have to do this."

Ray nodded.

"And your sure you can handle this?"

Ray nodded.

"Well then," Abby sighed, "If the child care lady says yes, I say yes."

"Thank you!" Ray hugged Abby, I knew you'd come around!"


	21. The Countdown

**Title: Never Let Your Guard Down**

**Author: Simple Plan Rulz**

**Rating: T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own ER etc etc**

**Sorry it took so long, again, i've been trying to update for like a week now, but it kept having a major spaz up. But it finally worked today. Thanks to Unconcious Regret for all her help! It seems like I cant write a chapter these days without it! Well here's the next chapter!**

**Chapter 21:The Countdown**

The social services lady looked over her desk, and peered over her half moon shaped glasses perched on the end of her, rather large nose, and took a good look at both Ray and Abby.

"Right then girlies," she began. Ray was unsure whether to explain that he was, in fact, not a 'girlie', but decided against it.

"I believe you're here to apply to foster care for young Sam."

Ray and Abby nodded at each other.

"Well, Dr Barnett and of course," she gestured to Abby, "Mrs Barnett I will have to visit the living area in which we can expect Sam to reside for, however long. You know, to check its suitable."

"Erm," Abby spoke, "I'm afraid I'm not Mrs Barnett, we're not married. I'm Dr Lockhart."

"Oh." The lady leaned back in her chair, and picked up a chip from the bag on her desk, she then attempted to fit the whole thing into her mouth, without breaking it, which she, miraculously, managed to do, before finally chewing the chip. "So, two doctors, well as I'm sure you are aware, being a doctor is time consuming and with both of you being doctors, I question whether you will find time to look after Sam."

"We can work separate shifts," explained Ray. The lady seemed to think about this for a while.

"Well, he is very attached to you, Dr Barnett, seems to think the world of you." The fact that she was unsure why, was definitely implied.

The woman looked into Ray's pleading eyes and sighed. "Fine, but we will have to arrange a time suitable for me to view your living space and I will of course, have to do some background checks, shouldn't be a problem."

Abby sighed, whenever she was involved there was always a problem.

* * *

Abby and Ray sat on the train as it rattled back home. 

"You know I still can't believe that lady thought we we're married!"

"What?" Ray laughed, "do we not look couply enough?"

Abby just smiled. "Besides who says I'll even take your name if we did get married?"

"You wanna keep Richard's?"

"No, maybe I'll go back to my maiden name."

"The weird sounding one?"

"Or maybe I'll be Dr Lockhart-Barnett."

"What's so terrible about my name?"

"Well," Abby smiled playfully, "for a start it's yours…"

"Ooo," Ray laughed, "low blow."

"Well its true, anything belonging to you is second rate." She joked some more.

"Then why are you still with me, why don't you go running back to Luka, or get on a plane to Africa to confess your true love for Carter?"

Abby laughed, "Because I happen to be very fond of second rate, it just so happens to be more exciting than first class."

Ray smiled, "is that just your roundabout way of saying I'm better in bed?"

Abby hit him playfully on the arm, "why is it always about sex with you?"

"Why isn't it always about sex with you?"

Abby looked away.

Ray grinned, "You just don't wanna admit it, do you, that I'm better in bed than Luka?"

Abby shook her head, "whatever I say, you won't be able to look at Luka in the same way, you won't respect him."

Ray sighed, and pretended to frown. "Anyways its not like we're ever gunna get married." Ray spat the last word out with ultimate disgust.

Abby agreed without thinking about it. But the more she did think about it, the more she felt like marrying Ray was exactly what she wanted to do.

* * *

Abby was sitting on the sofa. The social services lady had just visited the apartment, overall it hadn't gone to bad, and it had all checked out okay and the lady arranged for Sam to move in by the end of the week into Neela's old room. 

"Its weird," Abby explained, "us, you know how we lived together right from the start of our relationship."

"Yer, we'll we had been friend before, and I had practically been living in here before that anyway."

"Yes, but on the sofa. It was just so sudden a move and yet it just seemed so right." She paused, "Neela thought I was crazy!"

Ray laughed, "She still does, she proper barked at me the other day. She just doesn't think we belong together."

Abby shook her head, "she's just upset over Gallant dieing."

The pair were silent for a few minutes, Michael's death hanging coldly in the air.

"But," Abby began, "the way us living together just worked out, you have to admit its weird!"

Ray laughed, "well it didn't always work out, do you remember the fight we had when I used up all the milk!"

"Yer and do you remember when you got really pissed off cause I spilt coffee on your guitar?"

"And that time you organised all my stuff?"

"Ray, you had your underwear just lying around everywhere."

Ray laughed and sat down on the sofa next to Abby, "So how come I always ended up being the one to crash on the sofa, how come it was never you?"

Abby laughed, "Because I'm superior to you. And besides, you could have always just slept in the spare room."

"But its so…"

"Creepy." Abby finished his sentence for him.

"Before Sam gets her, we should re-decorate it."

"If we find the time."

Abby and Ray both sighed, knowing from now on it would be different.

"I'll miss spending time with you." Ray broke the silence.

"We could always sneak a moment in the drugs cupboard."

"Classy," Ray laughed, "its just not the…"

"Same." Abby smiled and placed her head on his shoulders, "We'll get through, we always do."

* * *

Sam had been in the new apartment only five minutes and he and Ray where already babbling on about music, school, sports, you name it. Abby felt it was far too much effort to keep up with their fast pace so she just sat in the kitchen, drinking her coffee and observing in a very Abby-like manner. 

"And so then he ran with the ball…"

"After that she threw her drumstick on the floor and screamed…"

"Seriously a top speed of 220mph and 0 to 100mph in 90 seconds…."

The conversation was so riveting Abby swore she even feel asleep at one point. But at least Ray and Sam where getting along well. Until Ray looked at his watch "Shit," he yelled, "I'm sposed to be at the hospital in five minutes!"

The next five minutes where a blur, until Ray left and it was just Sam and Abby all alone, the apartment empty and silent. Sam sat at the counter opposite Abby. There stared at each others eyes for a few minutes, before Sam finally spoke.

"So…"

Abby nodded, "You unpacked all your stuff?"

Sam nodded.

Abby shrugged, "So what do you wanna do?"

Sam shrugged, "You wanna go shot some hoops?"

Abby shook her head, "I can't play basketball."

"I could teach you?"

"No thanks. You wanna go shopping?"

"I hate shopping."

"Oh." Abby sighed and took a long sip of coffee, like it was vodka.

"Why do you like that stuff?"

"What coffee?"

"Yer."

"Cause it tastes nice."

Sam shook his head violently, "It taste like cat poop."

"How do you know what cat poop tastes like?" Abby laughed, "Besides you'll like it when you're older."

Sam didn't like this, "How do you know? Have you met the older me?"

Abby shook her head, "No, but I'm sure he's lovely."

Sam went over to the Hi-Fi, "You wanna listen to the Clash?"

"The who?"

"Never mind."

"How about some Cliff Richard?"

"No," Sam whined, "he sucks."

"Fine."

Abby resided to her coffee; it was obvious that they had absolutely nothing in common.

Sam sat on the sofa, and turned on the TV, he searched through the DVD's for a bit before producing, 'The OC' box set. He showed it to Abby, "You like the OC?"

"I love it!" Abby enthused.

"Its good you've got season 1, seasons 2 and 3 just aren't as good."

"I know, Seth's just funnier and Marissa is way less annoying."

Sam laughed, "I love the episode 'the countdown', its so sweet at the end."

Abby nodded, "That's my favourite episode, that or the heartbreak!"

Sam smiled, "Yer that's a wicked episode!"

"I can't believe you like the OC, most guys don't! Ray refuses point blank to watch it with me."

Sam shook his head, "That's not very nice."

The two of the smiled at each other as they sat down to watch the OC.

Later that day, Ray came home to find Abby and Sam still watching the OC.

"Oh Abby, don't tell me you made the poor kid sit through the OC!"

"No," Sam shook his head, "I love the OC."

Ray looked at the dark circles forming around Sam's eyes, "How long have you guy been watching?"

Abby shook her head, "I lost track of the time 10 episodes ago."

"What?" Ray shook his head, "Guys that's terrible, you should go to bed, Abby you've gotta be on shift in 2 hours."

Neither of the two moved.

"Guys? Guys?"

There was still no movement or sound coming from the whole apartment except the sound of Ryan and Marissa talking quietly about her mom.

"Fine," Ray stormed off to the bedroom, "I'm going to bed, if you two wanna screw up your eye sight and be shattered by tomorrow, go for it!"

"We will," came the solemn reply from Abby and Sam.

"Hopeless," Ray shook his head like an old man, and flopped onto the bed, "just hopeless."


	22. Bad Parenting

**Title: Never Let Your Guard Down**

**Author: Simple Plan Rulz**

**Rating: T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own ER etc etc**

**Notes: sorry i havent updated in ages, I've been really busy. which is a lame excuse, but anyway, for anyone who still cares, here is the next chapter.**

**Chapter 22: Bad parenting**

Sam walked into the apartment put down his bag and sighed. "Do we have any food? I'm starving!"

"Err, yer sure." Ray had quite obviously fallen asleep on the sofa whilst watching the news. Sam joined him on the sofa shortly, a huge sandwich in his lap.

"Woh," Ray stared in amazement at the size of Sam's sandwich, "Did you forget to have your lunch or something?"

"No," Sam shifted uneasily.

Ray stared at Sam noticing he had a new bruise on his arm. "How'd you get that?"

"Dunno," Sam lied obviously.

Ray sighed, "Come on, you gotta tell me what's going on. You're not eating your lunch, you've got bruises on your arm. It just doesn't make sense."

Sam looked away, "this kid at my school, he says he'll beat me up unless I give him the money you give me for lunch everyday."

Ray shook his head and sighed. "So you just let him beat you up?"

"Well no, normally I give it to him but, the other day, I was so hungry…"

"Have you tried telling a teacher?"

Sam nodded, "but they dont really listen to me."

Ray thought for a second, "and you never thought to hit him back?"

"Well no," Sam paused, "I mean I've never hit someone in my life…"

Ray nodded, it made sense. "Well it's not like you probably wouldn't be able to give this guy a run for his money. I mean it's not like you're not strong." It was true, Sam was reasonably well built.

Sam just looked at him.

"Okay, try this," Ray motion to his upper chest, "Punch me."

Sam looked at him like he was crazy.

"Look," Ray started, "the way I see it you got one of two choices you can give your money to this kid every day for the rest of your life, or you can do something about it."

Sam nodded and punched Ray lightly.

"Harder."

Sam tried to punch harder.

"No, no. You're hitting me with a straight arm, you want it to be still bent, that when the punch is strongest. And you gotta put your whole body into it."

Sam tried again, this time with a little more success.

"Try," Ray thought for a sec, "try imagining you're Ryan, from the OC, and I've made you really mad."

Sam punched Ray, but really hard this time, Ray even winced a little.

"Okay, I think that's enough of that," Ray smiled, "so you just gotta try that next time this guy starts on you, okay?"

Sam nodded, "okay."

Ray looked shifty and began to mum, "not that I'm saying violence is a good thing, but you know sometimes in life its necessary to show people that there not better than you, because you know in life theres nothing worse than a man who thinks he's better than everyone else..."

"Ray," Sam interrupted him, "I get it, violence is bad."

Ray smiled, "good," he paused to think for a moment before adding, "but dont tell Abby, you know how she get about these things."

Sam and Ray laughed together.

* * *

The next day the hospital was in its usual state of chaos. Ray had already discharged a man who cut his forehead trying to set up his new widescreen TV, a women who was certain she had caught bird flu, when she barely even had a cold, a young boy who had fractured his arm after falling out of a tree, and a little girl who burned her hands making muffins with her mom. He was about to see to an elderly gentleman who had cut off his finger chopping vegetables for his wife's 60th birthday dinner, when Abby came rushing over to him. 

"I just got a call from Sam's school, they say I need to go over there quick, it's an emergency."

"Did they say he was okay?" Ray looked concerned.

"No, they just said to come quick."

"Are you free to go?"

Abby nodded, "As long as you take this guy in 3 for me. He took one too many anti-acids for his stomach ache."

Ray sighed at the stupidity of the human race, "Sure, just ring me when you find out what going on."

Abby nodded "Sure," before rushing off.

* * *

About an hour later, Ray was working at the main desk, when he noticed Abby walk in with Sam, a relatively fat boy who had a tissue held up to his nose, which was bleeding profusely, the boys relatively fat mother and Sam's principal. 

Abby gave the boy over to a nurse and looked back at Ray; she was clearly pissed about something. "So," she asked "what do you have to say for yourself?"

Ray shrugged; he had no idea what was going on.

"What did you think you where doing, teaching Sam to punch people?"

Suddenly it dawned on Ray what had happened. He quickly made excuses, "I only taught him how to defend himself!"

"He's broken that kid's nose! That is not defending himself!"

Everybody looked at Sam, who looked a pale white. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"Sorry is not going to cut it, young man," The principal began.

Ray ran straight over to Abby and whispered to her, "Look you sort out the other kid and I'll talk to Sam's principal, you know explain."

Abby sighed, and nodded, before walking off with Sam's bully.

Ray walked over to the principal and motioned for him to sit in the waiting room chairs. He gave Sam some money to get a chocolate from the vending machines. Ray turned to address the principal. "Look, I know this seems pretty bad but, Sam's having a rough time at the moment and it doesn't really help that he's being bullied and all."

The principal looked shocked "Sam's being bullied! But that not what Jesse told me, he said that he had been innocently standing outside when Sam just walked right up to him and starting attacking him. Are you saying this is not true?"

"Well no," Ray looked annoyed, "If you'd bothered to ask Sam he probably would have told you this kids been on his case for a couple of weeks now, making him give him his money. I was just trying to help him out."

"Well, perhaps next time Sam could talk to a teacher about it, rather than seeing violence as the only answer. I am terribly sorry for the mix up though, I just assumed that it was Sam's fault, you know, he's not exactly the well-adjusted type."

Ray quickly became very angry; he rose from his chair, "Not the well adjusted type! You don't know two things about Sam, he's good kid who means well and you have no right to judge him based on his background!"

Neela rushed over, and grabbed Ray's upper arm, "Ray, you're making a scene."

"Sorry," he replied and sat back down.

"Well," the principal stood up and brushed his suit with his hands, "I hope Sam will be better behaved in the future, and I look forward to seeing you on parents evening, if you're still around by then of course." He gave an unsatisfied sniff and stormed off to go see Jesse.

Ray hung his head in his hands. Neela sat down next to him and placed her hand lightly on his back, "It'll be okay." She paused, "By the way, you should know…" she motioned to Sam, who was standing the other side of the waiting room, his facial expression showed that he had witnessed the little scene.

"Right," Ray sighed and turned to Neela and said, "Well if you'll excuse me," before walking off to go have a talk with Sam.

* * *

Later that evening when Sam had gone to bed, Ray sat on the sofa, listening to his music, when Abby walked in the door. "You'll be pleased to know Jesse didn't break his nose. It was a pretty superficial injury, the kid just made a big fuss about the whole thing to get Sam in trouble." 

Ray nodded, "well that good."

Abby motioned to Sam's room, "you talk to him about it."

Ray nodded. Abby sat down on the sofa next to him. "Do you think we're good parents?"

"Of course."

"But the children of good parents don't go around breaking people's noses."

"Well then it's a good thing Sam didn't break that kid's nose then, isn't it?"

Abby laughed, "Still. You really think so?"

Ray smiled and gripped Abby's hand, "Shit happens, but at the end of the day if Sam knows the difference between right and wrong, and he knows its wrong to punch people for no apparent reason but that its okay to stand up for yourself, but that doesn't mean you have to break anyone's nose, and he knows that you shouldn't laugh at people who are more unfortunate in life than you, and that prejudice, and a refusal to understand other people, is what causes most of today's problems…What I mean is, as long as he knows what really matters, than I guess everything else is okay."

Abby smiled, "That's sweet."

Ray smiled back, "Thank you."


End file.
